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[REQUIRED READING: Administrative notes, Community Guidelines, and the HATE WEEK disclaimer.]

Kevin C. Cox

There are few programs in all of college football loathed more than the Alabama Crimson Tide. Above all, they win a lot. The hatred we feel for them is the same as the hatred felt for the New York Yankees, LA Lakers, and Manchester United. They're a part of the sports elite, and we resent them for it. Their head coach is despised as a greedy, soulless conniver who values victory more than ethics. Much of the Alabama media covering the Crimson Tide are just as void of integrity and perspective, and the fans...

Oh Lord, the Alabama fans.

Look, it's okay to cheer for a good football program. Go ahead, do you. Just don't use your choice to cheer for a powerhouse as some sort of victory for you personally. Some Alabama fans treat the fact that they cheer for the Crimson Tide as a "scoreboard!" moment in some game that nobody else but them is really even playing. "Hey! Look at me! I cheer for a great team! And I use that team's successes - which aren't my own successes, mind you, but successes built on the hard work of other people - to feel good about myself! And you all suck because of it! HAHA RTR!"

And we just roll our eyes in return. You think that weak sauce can bother us, Alabama fan? Because that right there is evidence of how poorly you understand the context of our fan base's collective miseries. You, Mr. or Ms. Alabama fan, can't do shit to us. You've cowardly chosen to join one of the most convenient fan bases in all of college football. We've done nearly the opposite. There isn't anything you can do to hurt us any more than Ole Miss itself has already done. We're prepared for the worst, because...

We are at war with Alabama. We have always been at war with Alabama.