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Well, that didn't take long, now did it?
Chad Kelly, the East Mississippi Community College star by way of Clemson, was arrested this weekend in his home town of Buffalo for, among other things, threatening to retrieve a Kalashnikov assault rifle from his car and "spray" a nightclub with it. This was in response to his being asked to leave the nightclub and getting into a bit of a scuffle with bouncers.
This isn't Chad Kelly's first instance of outlandish, aggressive behavior. He wound up at EMCC after being dismissed from Clemson for conduct deemed "not consistent with the values of" the Tigers' football program. He was dismissed from a high school team or two for similar actions. And, while not egregious, aggressive, or violent, it is worth noting that he did, in high school, write a song about himself that routinely referenced his "swag" and touted him as the "No. 1 QB."
So this guy, the self-proclaimed "White Michael Vick," writes raps about his high school football prowess, gets in spats with college coaches, and threatens to shoot up night clubs within a week of signing with Ole Miss. How do we Rebel fans respond to this? Why, by writing a Christmas carol, of course!
This morning, I tweeted this:
On the First Day of #Chadmas a Juco gave to me, a head case of a QB. *treble clef emoji* *trumpet emoji*
— Red Cup RebYULEion (@RedCupRebellion) December 22, 2014
And, boy, did we ever get a tidal wave of responses. It seems that the holiday spirit and the need to laugh about something so embarrassing got us all in the mood to write the "Twelve Days of Chadmas" on this cold Monday morning.
Before we kick off this singalong, there is a LOT of credit to go around, so quick tips of the hat go to Two Yards, Queen Hoka, Bardwell, Halpert, RebsAllIn, getalab, and everyone else who chipped in on the Twitters. There were like fifty of y'all, and you're all just the best. Thank you, and Merry Chadmas!
The Twelve Days of Chadmas
by Red Cup Rebellion's Twitter Followers
On the first day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
A Head Case of a QB!
On the second day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Two Fake IDs
And a Head Case of a QB!
On the third day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the fourth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the fifth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the sixth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the seventh day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the eighth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Eight Dawgs a-Trollin’
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the ninth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Nine Cops Arresting
Eight Dawgs a-Trollin’
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the tenth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Ten Rounds a second
Nine Cops Arresting
Eight Dawgs a-Trollin’
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the eleventh day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Eleven Starters Starting (over Chad)
Ten Rounds a second
Nine Cops Arresting
Eight Dawgs a-Trollin’
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!
On the twelfth day of Chadmas, a Juco gave to me,
Twelve Months Probation
Eleven Starters Starting (over Chad)
Ten Rounds a second
Nine Cops Arresting
Eight Dawgs a-Trollin’
Seven Haters Hatin’
Six Swags a Swaggin’
NO SUPERBOWL RRRIIINNNNNNGGGGSSSS (Sorry, Jim)
Four Injured Bouncers
Three Demo Tapes
Two Fake IDs
And a head case of a QB!