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Do we really have to have a HATE WEEK?

[REQUIRED READING: Administrative notes, Community Guidelines, and the HATE WEEK disclaimer.]

Look at 'em just standing around all Calvinist 'n' shit.
Look at 'em just standing around all Calvinist 'n' shit.

I don't feel like hatin' on anybody or anything right now.* I'm emotionally cashed out and physically weak after what was a long, draining few days in Oxford. Of course I made sure to see old friends and have a damn good time, but after seeing what I saw unfold in front of me, I can't muster up the enthusiasm or vitriol for a date against Presbyterian.

I know, it's a tradition around here and all, but the football team is getting what is essentially two weeks off. Should we not take the same? I don't want to think of clever quips or google any gifs or even ask the oracle to provide me with any. I also don't want to expend too much of my fan capital on a game that is clearly pretty damn meaningless. All I really want is for Laquon Treadwell's ankle to get better and for the Auburn fans I saw gloating after his injury to choke on a sandwich.

So can we just hold off on it for a couple of weeks?

No? You don't wanna? You want to put some fire back in your belly and get excited for football again? You really need this? Well...

Okay, fine. Here.

We are at war with Presbyterian. We have always been at war with Presbyterian.

*Aside from Gus Malzhan. I hope someone kicks him in his teeth and sets all of his sweater vests on fire.