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The Cup's Final 2013-14 SEC Power Poll Ballot

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How does the SEC stack up at the end of the year?

Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

The rankings, opinions, and analysis are mine. The team names are stolen from dumb people on Twitter and Facebook, or at least how I think I would act if I were a dumb person on Twitter or Facebook.

  1. ALLBarn WarPlaneTigers (LOL MASCOTS) - The unlikely SEC champs obviously get the top spot, even though they failed to keep "the streak" (about which I could hardly care less) alive.
  2. MISERY Tigers - Talk about another unlikely team to be here, Missouri showed that Gary Pinkel's still got it.
  3. Halliburton Clemson Pride! - Roll Pride Roll! Alabama will probably still be in contention for a national title next year, and they'll probably deserve such attention, and we'll all probably still hate them for it.
  4. South Caro-WHINE-a LameCocks - Steve Spurrier could be the best SEC coach ever. No, really.
  5. LSWho? FELONS - They'll lose a lot of talent to the NFL Draft, and still probably win 9, 10, or 11 games next season. So it goes.
  6. Texass S&M FlagDogs - Everybody's curious to see what they'll be after Manziel. With Kevin Sumlin at the helm, it's hard to think they won't do well enough.
  7. Jawjuh BullFRAUDS - I think we're all curious as to how much longer Mark Richt can stay in Athens. Mizzou, South Carolina, and now perhaps Tennessee could make things very difficult for the Classic City Canines.
  8. Old Piss Rebel Bear RAYCESSTS - Seven wins in year one; eight wins in year two; nine wins in year three?
  9. Vanderbilt Commode Doors - Maybe James Franklin wants to stay in Nashville? Is that something we've yet considered with all this "Franklin to USC/Texas/Penn State" talk we've heard for months?
  10. MSPoo Leghumperz - Earned bowl eligibility by the skin of their teeth, but showed up once they got the invite.
  11. Tennessee Ball n Peens - This is the funniest nickname ever. Oh, and Tennessee probably has more unrealized potential than any other program in the SEC. Under Butch Jones, they'll be "back" (whatever "back" may be).
  12. Florida Gajorts - I mean, who loses to Vanderbilt, RIGHT GUYS?!
  13. Arkanthaw Rabieshacks - Good ol' fashioned American football.
  14. Kentucky Wildcats - Looks like an Elite Eight team right now, but has the talent to be something much better if they can get it together.
The final SEC Power Poll results are at Team Speed Kills. Be certain to give them a look-over.