For yet another offseason, it is summertime. Sweet, beautiful, sweltering summertime. Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time. We're having fun, and we would like you to as well. While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied. As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff. This weekend's theme song? Wilco's "Jesus etc.", performed live of course.
The Dickhead Who Wrote This Loose Stool of a Football Column - Really reconsidering his stance, I'm sure (probably not though, because even reason can't sure smug).
Jamal Mosely - Answering nature's call when and wherever he pleases; having his style cramped by The Man.
Ghost - Flying to Colorado for a week long trip to what is almost literally the middle of nowhere. I'll be hiking and, who knows, maybe getting mauled by a bear. (This means that there's like no Red Cup for a week. That is, unless y'all wanna fanpost things and have me frontpage them after searching the Rockies for a 3G signal.)
Juco - Flying to Colorado solely to put various meats in Ghost's pockets.
Mexter -At the Neshoba county fair. Any Red Cuppers are welcome to come down Happy Hollow and start yelling for me. We'll have beers and whatnot.
USA - All your gold medals are belong to us.
China - All your gold reserves are belong to us
(Those were brought to you by Sir Francis Drank, who supplements that with "that's the most I've used my Croft degree in maybe seven months.")
China again - "I swear officer, I thought she was 16!"
Ross Bjork - Agreeing to being some sort of celebrity waiter at the Ravine (it's for a good cause, y'all) and allowing the ad wizards at OleMissSports.com to "photoshop" a San Pellegrino bottle into his hand.
Houston Nutt - Just for his own amusement, crashing his four wheelers into a ditch before setting them on fire. Buying new ones.
This Guy - CAIN'T HANDLE BEIN' BALIS MADE! (Warning: spewvomit)