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Mississippi State Interviews Bryce Drew for Basketball Vacancy, Does the Most Mississippi State Thing Ever

Just look at this guy and tell me you don't wanna throw him from a train.
Just look at this guy and tell me you don't wanna throw him from a train.

Normally, the goings on of the Mississippi State basketball program would garner little mention here on Red Cup Rebellion. Even in a season such as this - with foibles, follies, firings, and fat centers providing USDA prime grade Schadenfreude for those of us in red and blue - we haven't made many attempts, if any, to go all that far out of our way to dedicate words and space to the Bulldogs. It's just not something that piques our interest beyond a few cheap jokes and the occasional victory celebration.

But when I saw the rumors circulating about Twitter this morning that Mississippi State has reached out to none other than Bryce Drew to fill the vacancy left by a "retiring" Rick Stansbury, well, I just had to write something. I mean, Bryce Drew? I get it that he's like a decent coach and stuff who comes from a family of better-than-average basketball coaches, but really?

Bryce. Fucking. Drew. They're actually interviewing Ole Miss' public enemy #2 (no man, dead or alive, can approach Billy Cannon in public enemy status) to coach against us as an arch rival, leading one of the more high-profile basketball programs in the SEC. I know it could easily be said that Drew could earn such a job on his own merits, but if this isn't something that the lot of the Mississippi State fan base are grinning ear-to-ear from out of annoying spite then I don't know what is.

"Well, Steve Prohm turned us down, and Kenny Payne doesn't seem so interested in us, so let's just hire somebody that'd cause those TSUN lawyers to shit a brick and call it a day."*

It would literally be the single most Mississippi State thing they could possibly do in this whole basketball head coach hiring process of theirs, and I'm damn sure that they know this and are likely nowhere close to ashamed of it.

Can you imagine if they did actually hire Bryce Drew? Can you imagine that introductory press conference where Bryce says something out of his stupid poop mouth like "I know a thing or two about beating Ole Mi-- I mean, TSUN!", much to the cowbell-ringing delight of those in attendance. Shit, at that point, I'd expect him to mount a tractor and cut donuts through the drill field, cowbells ringing in both hands, while shouting "SUE THIS" to a raucous crowd of onlookers.

And don't doubt that every game played between our two schools in Starkville will have some hype video of Drew hitting his buzzer-beating shot, before fading into footage of him standing in front of a greenscreen'd Hump and shouting "let's go DawgZ! Go to Hell Old Piss!1!!!"

Then there's the possibility of our fans causing bodily harm to Drew upon his first visit to the Tool Pool/Randy Kennedy Memorial Gymnasium. At the very least, I would fully expect some half-drunk sophomore to hurl a concessions stand souvenir cup, half-full of a sugary alcoholic concoction, straight at Coach Drew's face and/or genitals. In fact, of all things mentioned thus far, this possibility is perhaps the most real of them all.

Yet, when considering all of this, I somehow want this to happen. If there's something this basketball program needs, it's angry, foaming-at-the-mouth, idiot fans. If Mississippi State can make this hire, they'd unintentionally galvanize and energize our otherwise lackluster fan base for at least two games a year, which is a possibility I find rather interesting.

So go ahead State, make our day. Spite us and hire Bryce Drew. Make this rivalry more interesting than it has been perhaps ever. Do it.

[NOTE: Bryce Drew is currently the head coach at, yes, Valparaiso, where he has compiled a 22-12 record, a Horizon League championship, and an NIT appearance after one full season as head coach.]

*I know this isn't actually how it went down. It'd just be too perfect if so.