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Does Anybody Know What Kory Keys is Talking About?

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Wtfkory_medium

Does anybody else hate this? I know it's not Kory's fault, because he's reporting this rumor second-handed, but Yahoo doesn't need a damned month to write a story. This is the online equivalent of running around a playground and telling people that you've got a secret, before wrenching their hearts by telling them that they, unlike you, aren't allowed to know the details of this secret (DAMN YOU SCHOOLGIRLS!).

So what is @kingcfb/Kory talking about. Kory obviously doesn't know, and I don't have a clue either, so maybe one of you have got an idea are totally willing to make something up for us. Could it be that:

  • Auburn bought Cam Newton? I mean, for real this time though.
  • Trooper Taylor has significant gambling debts with the Huntsville Mafia - it's real, and it's scary - and therefore embezzles any- and everything he can?
  • Dan Mullen has left Mississippi State to be a spokesman for Kitchen Aid? (WELCOME TO OUR CHARCUTERIE! WE GRIND FOR OUR SAUSAGE!)
  • Les Miles has been caught growing Psilocybin laced grass? The crime here isn't so much the cultivation or consumption, dude was holding out from the LSU Board of Regents and Verne Lundquist. Tsk tsk.
  • Alabama did something illegal again and is undeniably sure that it's all Tennessee's fault?

Whatever it is, if this rumor is true, I'm sure it's something we're all looking forward to.

(It seems likely that this story has something to do with Will Lyles, the guy who is getting Oregon in deep doodoo right now. He has some pretty close ties with former LSU cornerback Patrick Peterson, per rumor mongering Twitter accounts.)