For yet another offseason, it is summertime. Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time. We're having fun, and we would like you to as well. While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied. As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff.
We're not gonna stop a good thing. For the third Summer in a row, Ray Charles will provide the weekend's theme music with "America the Beautiful".
Sing it Ray.
Juco - Drink heavily, fall asleep, and get fat.... FOR AMERICA
Dan Jones and Pete Boone - Burn an American flag with a bunch of Northeastern elites. AMIRITE?
Ghost - I like what I've got going on. Tonight, well, there's nothing tonight. I'm probably going to eat a pizza and watch the Sopranos. What of it. Tomorrow I'm gonna be at Nationals Park for the doubleheader between Pittsburgh and Washington. Sunday I'm going to a kegger where there will be lots of gaudily dressed Americans behaving rather rambunctiously. And on Monday I'm smoking a Boston butt into some sinfully awesome pulled pork before watching the DC fireworks from the Key Bridge - named, rather appropriately, for Francis Scott Key. Fighting a Brit. Drinking swill water. Eating hot dogs. America.
CJ Johnson - Receiving improper, gas-guzzling benefits and advertising them freely via social media applications.
White Girls, According to CJ Johnson's Late Twitter Feed - [REDACTED]
Tobias Singleton - Cheating on the ACT. Hitting women. /Genespage'd
Broad Stripes and Bright Stars - Gallantly streaming through the perilous fight.
The Rockets - Possessing a red glare.
The Bombs - Bursting in air, giving proof through the night that our flag was still there.
That Star Spangled Banner - Yet waving o'er the land of the free and
the home of the brave.