clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

MARCH MADNESS: Stuff Ole Miss People Like, Miscellaneous Region

To assuage the frustration of an Ole Miss-less March Madness and provide the lot of us something to do over the next week or so, Juco, One Man to Beat, Whiskey Wednesday and I have, in a fashion which slightly rips off Spencer Hall at EDSBS, come up with the STUFF OLE MISS PEOPLE LIKE MARCH MADNESS BRACKET! There are sixty-four people, places, things, and ideas, all of which are an integral part of the Ole Miss Rebel experience, which we have compiled for a March Madness-esque tournament to determine what it is exactly that we Rebels can so exactly and singularly identify with.

Just as with the NCAA basketball tournament, there are four regionals, each of which contain sixteen teams. We're going to go regional-by-regional over the next few days and give you, the Friends of the Cup, an opportunity to debate, argue, scream, campaign, and choose who you feel should survive the first few rounds.

Here's how we're going to do this: comments threads. Just comment below as to who you think wins, oh, let's say the first two or three rounds of this regional. You could go game by game, you could pick out a few favorites, you could even, in great detail, describe how these theoretical matchups are won and lost. The idea is that, after getting y'all's input, we'll hopefull be able to whittle this thing down to something like an Elite Eight, after which we can implement actual polling. (Yes, we could technically do that now, but that'd require 63 separate polls. I don't wanna do it that way.) 

Starting the madness will be the "Miscellaneous" region, the bracket of which is below. Click to biggify, and let us know who the winners are. Stay tuned for the "People," "Places," and "Food/Drink" regions over the next few days. And, please, don't hold back.


Explanations for each seed, as if they're necessary, are after the jump.

  1. Collared Shirts - A perennial powerhouse at Mississippi's flagship institution, collared shirts are a number one seed for a record-smashing 163rd straight year.
  2. "Tradition" - Whether we've been doing it for 100 years or 10, we're gonna keep on doing it and get really fucking pissed off if somebody tells us we can't anymore. Hell, we'll even get pissed off at each other over this somewhat obscure concept.
  3. BMW - Driving a German sedan is the pinnacle of upper-middle class suburbanite-dom.
  4. Tents - Serving as markers of our 10'x10' patch of real estate we temporarily claim every Autumn Saturday, pop-up tent ownership is as much a part of the Ole Miss experience as anything else in this regional.
  5. Pomp - Look it up in the dictionary if you must, you ignoramus.
  6. Cronyism - Two words: Dickie. Scruggs.
  7. April - In the month of April, the Rebels are 1-0 in football, over the mediocrity of Basketball, and optimistic about Baseball. Also, there's Red/Blue and Double Decker to keep everybody's sprits lifted.
  8. Good Credit Scores - Most incoming Ole Miss freshmen tend to think of themselves as coming from a wealthy family. In reality, though, they're likely just coming from a family which isn't in debt which, in the Deep South, can very easily be mistaken as wealth. Hey, in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king, right?
  9. Sperrys - They're comfortable, last forever (FACT: Sperrys are only thrown away after a family member or significant other tells you that your shoes smell like rotting turds due to them never having been worn with socks. ALSO A FACT: Wearing socks with your Sperrys is a huge fashion faux pas.), and fashionable. Also, if you wear them, people will assume you know something about boating, even if you haven't so much as stepped foot in a canoe.
  10. Schadenfreude - When we're not winning, we're taking the pleasure in somebody else not winning. It's the Ole Miss way.
  11. Haberdasheries - We like hats, I suppose.
  12. Circumstance - A lot of this shit isn't our fault. It really isn't. We're just sorta unlucky victims at times. WAOM.
  13. Chocolate Labs - Aren't they just so cah-uuuuuuuuuute as puppies! They're also very easily trained to retrieve things which you have shot out of the sky with what is likely an expensive shotgun.
  14. Handshakes - Ole Miss freshmen gentlemen have oftentimes remarked on the sore forearms received after several long rounds of rush and a few Freshmen weekends in the Grove. Sometimes I wonder if, at orientation, they should warn incoming students of the possible orthopedic consequences of Ole Miss studenthood.
  15. Libertarianism - Becuase you don't wanna pay taxes, nor do you want somebody to meddle in your firearm ownership, nor do you want to obey the speed limit, nor do you wanna wait until your 21 to drink, etc.
  16. Tennis - We're good at it!