After yesterday's not-so-startling revelation that our coaching staff isn't so much trying to be complex, nuanced, or even furtive in its offensive playcalling by more or less announcing to anyone within eyeshot of the Rebel sideline just who exactly will be receiving the football on an upcoming play, we at the Cup decided to do what it is that we do best - snark the pain away.
Here are some suggestions for playcalling signs to be used by our coaches against LSU and Mississippi State. The lot of us came up with these over a quickly thrown together GMail chain, meaning that I imagine that the more creative of you out there can do much better than this. Regardless, here they are.
- "JET SWEEP NO GAIN"
- "IP to KN"
- "50!" - Just so we fans can be reminded that we're in the presence of coaching greatness.
- "D.M." with a Chief's logo under it and a frownie face
- "ED FOR -2" - The most consistent play in our book.
- "50 YD PASS to NB" - This is only to be used once per season.
- "ZS TO" - You figure it out. It's not like it's something that doesn't happen all of the damn time.
- Recycling logo with Brunetti, Stoudt and Mackey pictured on each corner
- A picture of the last supper - For when we need to come out of a timeout with 12 men on the field
- "HERPA DERP" - For off-tackle stretch play with Jeff Scott out of the endzone
- A picture of Admiral Ackbar - For traps
- Pictures of the Cotton Bowl - Just to remind the players why they signed up for this bullshit
- "HEY LES, WE ARE GOING TO RUN A READ OPTION PLAY OUT OF THE SHOTGUN WHERE RANDALL MACKEY HAS THE JET SWEEP OPTION TO TOBIAS SINGLETON. IF HE OPTS OUT OF THAT, HE WILL HAVE JEFF SCOTT, DONTE MONCRIEF, AND JAMAL MOSELY TO THROW TO ON AN IN, OUT, AND POST ROUTE RESPECTIVELY. I WOULD HAVE A MAN TO MOSELY'S INSIDE, AS RANDALL TENDS TO PLACE HIS PASSES TO POSTS A BIT TOO CLOSE TO THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD. ALSO, THE SNAP COUNT IS TWO. WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO AJAX AFTER THIS? I UNDERSTAND IF YOU'RE BUSY. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE EVENING!" - Self explanitory