Unless you're brand new around here (and, again, welcome to this corner of these vast Intratubes), you all know that Red Cup Rebellion is a proud contributor to the SEC Power Poll, a 1-12 ranking of the SEC's football teams hosted by SBNation and put together by the web's best SEC-centric blogs. You all also know that we take it serious enough to maintain a reputable set of rankings, but love to mix in the snark when and where applicable. You also know, as last year's season most assuredly and painfully remind you, that preseason rankings are more-or-less bullshit designed only to crush the souls of victory-hungry fans while providing a little conversation fodder.
Thankfully, the folks in charge of the Power Poll know that final point as well as any, and have asked us to keep this preseason poll almost entirely removed from football. And being that this is the SEC offseason, and that we're the fans of a school whose fan base loves to discuss such triviality, we were naturally delighted to hear that this season's preseason poll would be focused on the rankings of the SEC's football uniforms. No, this isn't a joke. You're about to read a 1 to 12 ranking of each SEC uniform. Helmets, logos, color schemes, and all of that other Spirit board fodder is up for consideration and discussion here.
So on with it. I don't know how one assesses the "power" of any given uniform, but I doknow that Ole Miss' uniform is aesthetically well done while State's uniform is teh sux. Our ballot accurately reflects that, while the rest was just sorta filled in by a panel which included most contributing bloggers here (JUCO abstained because he thinks this, like himself, is stupid). For transparency's sake, Ivory Tower does, in fact, possess a mean case of colorblindedness; that likely should have disqualified him from voting but, eh, we didn't want to make him feel like some kinda freak-a-zoid by telling him he couldn't play in our stupid little game.
So jump on it to see where we at Red Cup Rebellion think your favorite SEC team's uniform ranks amongst its in-conference peers.
- Ole Miss - Red and blue are nearly universally loved colors, and the Rebel uniforms capture both well, giving each their fair shake on a uniform which, recently, returned to its simplistic roots. The jersey features plain numbers and letters, plain shoulder stripes, and a small script Ole Miss logo on the chest. Whether red or blue - or even white - the Rebel jersey trumps all. The pants are a grayish silver with one red and blue stripe, a rebellious tribute to the confederacy, perhaps? And the helmet is a deep navy - almost black - blue with a simple red stripe and logo. Hell yeah we're homers. Get over it. This is a preseason poll about uniforms, so don't get too wadded up over it.
- Georgia- Also beautiful in their simplicity, the UGA uniforms are a nice, vibrant red and don't waste time with frills. The helmet's "G" logo is a classic (but might not be original) and the white facemasks are perfect. All of this praise is, of course, voided when the Classic City Canines decide to get all death metal on us with a black out. Don't do that shit ever again, Georgia.
- Auburn - I don't think anyone aside from Auburn has done blue and orange a simultaneous favor. The navy blue and white are featured with orange acting as an accent, the logo is simple and memorable and the uniform doesn't distract you with frivolity. For once, Under Armor didn't screw something up.
- LSU - Wearing white at home is a unique tradition and keeps most of us from having to look at damn purple uniforms. So, for that, we thank you, LSU.
- Alabama - I, personally, think Alabama's uniforms are the conference's best. They're simple, proud, iconic, and boast a certain uniqueness with the numbered helmets.
- Vanderbilt - I think every conference needs a token black uniform (/that'sracist'd). I like what Vandy does principally because it gives off a bit of a New Orleans Saints vibe, but also because they do black and gold better than Wake Forest, Colorado, or anyone else at this level of play.
- Arkansas - If these were the Darren McFadden era Hogs, they'd be ranked a little higher, but the changes made in the past few seasons have detracted a lot from the uniform. the smaller "ARKANSAS" on the chest, the white trim, and the stripe type things on the side really ruined a good uniform. Although the classic hog logo on the helmet makes the Razorback headgear one of the nation's best looking and most iconic.
- Tennessee - This is your team's uniform. This is your team's uniform on drugs. Never again, Vols. And this too; we're not too keen on the brightly colored football pants here at the Cup. Orange is a very tough color to pull off, and while the Vols can hold their own, their use of that end of the color wheel is dwarfed by the other UT.
- Kentucky - Their blue is a bit too chromatic or "royal" for our tastes, and they're fans of the "everything's the exact same color" style of uniform.
- Florida - While we knocked Tennessee a bit for orange and Kentucky for blue, both are fine colors and can work even in conjunction if done right (see: Auburn). Florida is not a good example of that. But what ultimately dooms the Gators is how "busy" their uniform is. There's trim everywhere, everything's outlined, everything has five damn stripes on it. Keep it simple, Gators.
- South Carolina - Just as cluttered and frivolous as Florida with a worse color scheme.
- Mississippi State - Back in the 1990's and early 2000's, State had a uniform that we Rebels at the time were envious of. But now, your new uniform is a lot like your team, State: it's not nearly as good as you think. Maroon is already a pretty horrid color to begin with, putting your particular Bulldogs at an inherent disadvantage, but what has been done to the uniform lately is pretty awful. The new bulldog logo is dumb, the new Mississippi State type on the chest is dumb, the off-color trim and tusky stripe things on the sides are dumb. Frankly, you should have just stuck with what y'all had under CroomS minus the white helmets.