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Sketchy? A little. But when you get into the real world, Kentrell - something which I am fully aware will likely never happen for an NFL-bound defender - you get bored at work and talk shit about football on the internets. That's what most of these fake Twitter accounts with which you've been interacting are a result of. Some are pretty funny; others are not; and plenty of them are Ole Miss or SEC related.
The first fake Twitter account that I became quickly annoyed with was @RebelMasoli. Either an uninspired Ole Miss fan or (more likely) a typical Mississippi State fan, RebelMasoli tweeted a bunch of shit over and over again referencing weed and theft. It was lame then but, honestly, RebelMasoli has gotten much, much better. When it first came out, I was annoyed because it reeked of typical Mississippi State fan double standard and Ole Miss obsession while being entirely unfunny - there are only so many "hey I was convicted of stealing stuff" jokes you can make. But I now retract my latter criticism because, I'll be frank, RebelMasoli is actually pretty funny now.
In reaction to OleForty's previous tweet, came
Sketchier than when we caught Yancy Porter hanging out by the team showers? "@OleForty: These people with these fake accounts..... Sketchy"
10:08 AM Aug 12th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by you and 1 other
I mean, come on, that's pretty damn funny, right? Then there's
Shepard Smith came by the locker room to talk to the team today. I thought it was odd that he was the only person that was naked.
Get it? You know, because, there are those rumors about him being in the closet and stuff? Maybe not? Oh well, whatever. I laughed. And this one is a "hey I steal stuff" joke, but it's got a pretty solid twist to it.
Stole a teammate's alarm clock so I would make practice this morning, nobody will be mad when Bradley Sowell doesn't show up.
In reaction to this and other Masoli hatin' on the Internets, a member of Jeremiah's family, PR firm, or perhaps even Jeremiah Masoli himself has started @PositiveMasoli. PositiveMasoli's advice to Lockett?
@oleforty I recommend blocking him and not allowing that fake to follow you. he's some nerdy 30 yr old living in his parents garage.
10:32 AM Aug 12th via web
Other than that, it's mostly retweets of positive or even neutral-ish Masoli related tweets. I guess it's worth a follow if you're that into the Rebel quarterback.
Another new fake Twitter account which, like RebelMasoli during it's inception, isn't really all that funny or original, is @JPowe57. Yeah, you guessed it, it's a week's worth of "Jerrell Powe barely graduated high school, has a learning disability, and was once (erroneously) called ‘illiterate' on the radio" jokes. I could call such jokes insensitive and borderline racist, but their biggest flaw is that they're just so fucking old. "Jerrell Powe can't read" was funny three years ago. After spending the last few seasons working hard on the field and in the classroom to combat his negative press, he, in an ideal world, should really been able to shed such criticism but, hey, some dipshits are still going to find it funny, right? Look at this one,
Rully wish hotty n toddy beecum tha mascotz they can hulp me lurn grammor n shit
and this one,
@RebelMasoli he toll me dat he'd color in da lions fo me and jurk me uff 1:21 AM Aug 10th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to RebelMasoli
Ok, that one's just fucking odd. Whoever thinks the idea of Jeremiah Masoli giving Jerrell Powe a handjob is funny is...nevermind. I'm moving on now.
Another Twitter account which thinks egregious spelling errors are hilarious is @T_S_U_N_ or "The Skewl Up Northe." Yes, it's spelled that way and, suitably enough, the title of the Twitter account is a perfect microcosm of everything that's wrong with it. What this account and Jpowe57 haven't realized is that the best humor is layered, works on multiple levels, has nuance, and - this is pretty important - is subtle. T_S_U_N_, there's no subtlety in
SANG IT WITH ME YALL! Friiied chicken and some peach preeserves! Dumbledorr's elbow and some fresh cow turds! That's my kind of south
or
AIN'T NOBODY KNOWS WHAT A ROLL TIDE IS ANYHOWS. BAGDAIMMINT!
It's just too damned silly to be funny. The kinds of people who find these jokes funny are the kinds of people who laugh at Garfield (HAHA MAN THAT CAT REALLY LOVES LASAGNE!!!) and Tom Green. It's also just a bit ignorant. I mean, to think you're going to portray Ole Miss as a redneck school by supporting Obama
@rickybishop Obama is TSUN material boy! GO OBAMA! TSUN REBELS SUPPORT YOU MY FRIEND!
1,274,252,945,000.00 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to rickybishop
is beyond flawed.
What's even sadder about T_S_U_N_ is that the account has been around since the first of May and was obviously created as a butthurt reaction to the Bulldawg Baseballers losing to Bianco's boys in Starkville this past year.
Wooo weee! We done won won of dem baseballin' games down in Starkville!
So they've been at it for over three months now and a) just got noticed and b) still haven't figured humor out. It took RebelMasoli about two weeks to get noticed and some lulz. It took FakeDanMullen two Tweets. You're obviously just not good at this, T_S_U_N_, so take a break from Twitter for, say, a week and then just quit altogether.
There are, aside from RebelMasoli, some pretty solid SEC related fake Twitter accounts. @SummerofMallett, a fake Ryan Mallett Twitter account whose most commonly used hashtag is #skanks, has been pure gold during this offseason.
I like my Twitter accounts like I like my late night encounters RT @OleForty: These people with these fake accounts..... Sketchy
10:16 AM Aug 12th via web Retweeted by 1 person
#15 don't answer the phone when fat chicks call RT @CarterFord Will you ANSWER THE CALL? http://answerthehogcall.com/
5:43 PM Aug 11th via web
Id bang all of them, including #33 RT @RedCupRebellion Miss Universe Photos Scroll to Slide 33. #thatisodd http://sbnation.com/e/1382170
2:58 PM Aug 11th via web
Give it a click-see and follow it if you aren't already.
Naturally, however, @FakeDanMullen continues to set the gold standard for online doppelgänger Tweetin'.
Need to speak to DJ--priorities out of order. RT @kyleveazey: Devin Jones: My main focus is make the team better get to a bowl and beat TSUN
2:58 PM Aug 10th via web
Wouldn't get too excited, TSUN. @kyleveazey is one of us now. Greg Byrne taught us how to be persuasive Clockwork Orange-style.
#Trojanhorse about 2 hours ago via web
Okay, enough fake Tweets. Let's end this on some real Tweets from some real Rebels.
Wayne Dorsey, Marcus Tillman, and AJ Hawkins, respectively, love food.
RIP to the chick fil a i just had....
@SXC_RN_BSN10 cheese goes good with everything.
Chef ceasar salad pockets on cucumbers
As I feel they all should, This Week in Twitter will end with the captain of Rebel Tweetin', Kentrell Lockett. He has to be the wittiest guy to put on a Rebel uniform over the past decade. He just has to be.
Up real early for a this drug test.... They are going to get a cup if excellence.....
And, to end on an appropriate Tweet from OleForty himself:
I swear everbody tries to be clowns.... But they just don't have it...