It's back and better than ever. Now I've gone all wacky and tossed together a (poorly coded) table to give the RCR SEC Coaching Asshole Power Rankings a more, let's say powerful feel. The changes in ranking reflect both recent events in the world of coaching assholery and the sentiments felt and left by the various SEC football fans who commented on the inaugural poll.
Please, be a bunch of dolls and do the same for this poll. I sort of envision this thing evolving quite organically during this offseason and I fancy y'alls opinions as being the driving force behind that.
New rankings and commentary are, as you would expect, after the jump.
RANK |
 |
ASSHOLE |
DELTA |
1 |
 |
Urban Meyer - Florida Still number one, and this will be a tough one to unseed. Unless someone else cockteases the rest of the college football universe into thinking they're retiring only to pull a "haha fuk u i is j/k" a few days later, Urb will be here for a while. |
- |
2 |
 |
Bobby Petrino - Arkansas Legendary asshole Bobby Petrino has actually been particularly quiet as of late. His stock could start slipping soon if he doesn't hurry up and pull off some major asshole moves. |
- |
3 |
 |
Nick Saban - Alabama Moved up simply because everybody really seems to think Nicky is an asshole (and, c'mon, I moved him up four spots, don't say I didn't do enough). And, yeah, he is, but the question still remains as to what exactly Nick Saban has done, especially as of late, that could count as asshole-ish behavior or even a general dick move? Nothing. The answer is simply nothing. For a guy that everybody seems to think is a monster, he's been pretty well behaved. |
+4 |
4 |
 |
Steve Spurrier - South Carolina Also moved up due to consensus as opposed to recent behavior. Will likely not slip much lower, either, due to being the granddaddy of SEC asshole-dom. |
+1 |
5 |
 |
Dan Mullen - Mississippi State Mullen is slipping due to the slowing of TSUN, anti-Old Piss rhetoric over the past couple of weeks. |
-2 |
6 |
 |
Les Miles - LSU Les gets a big jump and for good reason, especially from an Ole Miss perspective. Recently, when asked about the status of Mississippi State's proudest tradition--a piece of antiquated farm equipment welded to a tricycle handle--as an artificial noisemaker, Miles replied
Ooooh hate hate hate! |
+2 |
|
|
|||
7 |
 |
Houston Nutt - Ole Miss Nutt's been pretty quiet for most of the offseason, the subtle jab at State mentioned in the last rankings aside. His stock tumbles with the rise of Miles and Saban. |
-3 |
8 |
 |
Gene Chizik - Auburn Get in more buttholes, Chiz. |
-2 |
9 |
 |
Derek Dooley - Tennessee Clean, polished, well groomed Derek Dooley actually said "bullshit" at a recent press conference. Not an asshole move in and of itself, but definitely hinting at some fantastic potential. |
+1 |
10 |
 |
Mark Richt - Georgia Boring. |
-1 |
11 |
 |
Joker Phillips - Kentucky Double boring. |
- |
12 |
 |
Bobby Johnson - Vanderbilt Loser. |
- |