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MBI - "Sexual Battery Shouldn't Be A Crime" Edition

Former Georgia quarterback Zach Mettenberger was recently released from the UGA football team after charges were filed against him for sexual battery, underage possession of alcohol, disorderly conduct, obstruction, and two counts of possessing false identification. Yesterday, Mettenberger pled guilty to sexual battery, and the other charges were dropped as part of a plea agreement. As a back story, Mettenberger was at a party with a good bit of the Devil's brew flowing throughout his bloodstream and simply couldn't refrain from grabbing the bum-bum and hoo-has of an (assumedly) attractive young woman. He thought it a sign of affection. She thought it a disturbing and invasive encroachment on her privacy and dignity.

Sheesh, women! Am I right guys?!

/raises hand to high five

/sees creeped out audience

/awkwardly resumes post

Of course, whenever a player who came out of high school with a relatively high number of stars next to his name on some internets page (four in Mettenberger's case), is dismissed for a "violation of team rules" (either assault, drug use, forgery--it's a serious crime, people), fans all around the country want their team to pursue that player. Ole Miss fans are no different, and act so to the nth degree.

After the jump, find out what some of our message board fans said about Mettenberger and his "prospects" as a hot new football commodity, freshly released on the market.

First, there's this gem from "rebeltwo":

The mere fact that the young man came out with his apology, to the young woman and others so named, shows his remorse in having done such a stupid act... We all were young once and have done something that we regret with all our heart... This young man will have this on his conscience from here on out and with the public humiliation he has had to endure, I don't see this ever happening again, or anything else for that matter....  All indiscretions are not fatal, and while he showed disrespect to the young woman, he has apologized and made amends to her.... He should be given another chance and It is my wish that Coach Nutt would see his value and offer him an opportunity to play here... The time sitting out due to transferring will offer time for the event to have lost the majority of it's sting... Therefore I don't see us getting a black-eye for signing him, although the "supposed writers" at the CL will try and make something out of it, I guarantee you they will.....  But sign him anyway... piss on those scumbags....

Yeah. We probably shouldn't even have a prison system if convicts agree to apologize to everyone they've hurt. I mean, if you're willing to apologize in court, it must mean your apology is earnest, right? Also, how in the world does this guy think it's alright to say something like, "I don't see this ever happening again, or anything else for that matter?" Oh, so you know him, rebeltwo? You've observed this guy? You've actually heard of him before now? Good, it's great to see such "in the know" types on the Spirit boards.

Do you think this guy would you say the same thing if say, a halfback or a defensive lineman did the exact same thing? I posit no. Neither are positions of need, nor are either positions typically held by white suburban types. Just sayin'.

And yes, the "supposed writers" (what's with the quotation marks?) for the Clarion Ledger will make a big deal out of it, as they should. Sexual battery isn't something which should be taken lightly, and, furthermore, the media is doing a great job of providing a caveat emptor message regarding Mettenberger and other problematic football players.

Next, "Geese" offers up his insight:

What a scumbag. We never learn. Schaeffer, Snead, and now you want this guy. How about we get a high quality guy out of high school that doesn't have a history of switching schools or arrests. We have some now... believe in them. Hotty Toddy!

Alright. I totally understand the Brent Schaeffer reference because of what went down at Tennessee--remember, he beat the tar out of some guy over a cell phone--but Jevan Snead? Seriously? Never mind the fact that he never once blamed anyone else on the team for our losses despite the fact that he had reason to do so. Never mind the fact that he has never once spoken poorly of Houston Nutt or Kent Austin. Why are you ragging on the guy? His interceptions? His transfer? Since when is changing schools such a terrible showing of character. I don't know if any of you noticed, but Tim Tebow was picked in the first round. Colt McCoy was picked in the third round. Jevan Snead was undrafted. Do you think it was a poor choice for him to go somewhere that he didn't have to compete with NFL caliber talent at his position, a position which never rotates players in good systems and rarely provides a player with the opportunity to shine without game film? I know we at the Cup criticize Jevan's quarterback play without any sort of reservation, but he is far from a troublemaker.

But the best of all responses to the article comes from "Daviskenn":

Jeesh - you can get arrested for grabbing a little T&A? What in the hell is this world coming to? We need tort reform...What a waste of tax payer's money. One slap could have solved all of this...

If the only ramifications of wantonly grabbing a woman's breasts and buttcheeks were a few slaps to the face, thousands of men would be lining up outside of the homes of Megan Fox, Sofia Vergara, and a slew of other gorgeous well-known women ready to trade two squeezes for a smack. To suggest that this isn't a big deal is mindboggling to me. Now, I know that there are plenty of men who have no trouble with this, who pinch the rears of hooters waitresses, who scream nasty things at strippers, murder hookers, etc. On the other hand, there are also women who don't seem to have a problem with reciving the pinches or squeezes, but, in most contexts between two strangers, such behavior is wildly unacceptable. And to even suggest tort reform in this context demonstrates that you haven't the faintest clue as to what a tort actually is. And, the Hell is wrong with you, suggesting that a justice system which protects the personal privacy and dignity of a citizenry is a waste of money? AND ANOTHER THING--

Whoa... Ok...

Let me breathe here... Find your center, find your center, find your center... Ok, I'm good.

Folks, we've got Nathan Stanely and Raymond Cotton on our team right now. Both of those guys are, as far as we all can tell, a couple of young men who keep their noses clean and show the ladies of Oxford their due respect. We don't need Zach "Idle Hands" Mettenberger spoiling that.