"Ole Miss Student Tickets Move Online, Add New Package," a headline on OleMissSports.com currently reads.
"Fantastic," you, the convenience-starved Ole Miss student and Rebel sports fan, may think. "Going to the Union, getting your ID verified, and then having to keep up with a paper ticket--especially while dranked off of that brown liquor--is an unnecessary hassle in this, the Digital Age! Huzzah, Rebel Athletics Administration!"
But this is nowhere close to as great as it sounds. Go ahead and click that headline and read up on what exactly this means, paying specific attention to this new "package" which has been added.
"Fuck that. Reading sucks."
Ugh, fine. Here's what you need to know:
From the release:
Based on the number of student tickets available for men's basketball games, a total of 2,000 all-sport passes are available at a cost of $125 per pass. The total price for individual season tickets for football ($84), basketball ($48) and baseball ($68-72) will equal approximately $200, offering a savings of $75 with the all-sport pass.
You got it. Ole Miss, for the first time ever, will charge students admission to Rebel baseball games. Instead of hazily assuming a game is going on, filling some sort of insulated vessel with whatever beer is leftover from last night's bender, snagging a lawn chair, and lazily wandering to Swayze Field to take in one of the greatest complementary collegiate sports experiences, you'll have to go through the bullshit of actually purchasing baseball tickets, paying attention to the schedule, and whatever nonsense you likely don't go through during basketball season.
But, really, all of that is trivial when compared to the real issue here: the Right Field atmosphere. I am certain that this gives the university a more open gateway through which to continue to legislate the lives of young adults who, despite the best wishes of the administration, aren't children (although half of our student body is certifiably stupid and childish). I am also certain that the very nature of such pervasiveness will leech the carefree, "hey brah it's Summertime whoo" atmosphere the right field student section has become notorious for. I am, however, hardly concerned with the yet aforementioned.
My main concern is this: hot girls will not buy baseball tickets. They just won't. No, these aren't girls that I'm (willing to admit to) looking to do whatever it is you younguns are doing, but they're girls that a lot of you are interested in, and that means something to this bloggeur, dammit.
Girls come to football games, but mostly not for the football. They come to dress fancy and charm it up as a part of the perpetual game of one-upsmanship women play. They're there to look good and be noticed doing so.
[ED NOTE: Before somebody says something about us being sexist, let us say that there are numerous women who love truly observe football as well as anybody in the stands. None of them go to Ole Miss.]
But do gals go to Basketball games? No. It's not worth the trouble nor the ticket to watch a sport which lacks any sort of social atmosphere. People don't tailgate basketball games. People cannot openly drink during basketball games. People do not dress nicely and shoot the shit at basketball games.
Do you get my point? Basketball is, oddly enough, an uncool sport on the Ole Miss campus. Apparently the Tad Pad was the place to be back during the Rob Evans days, but those tales, when falling upon my ears, have about as much effect as someone shouting "THAR BE DRAGONS!" During my four years, if you told anybody, especially an attractive gal that you were heading to the basketball game, you'd get a look akin to a "wait, what type of rash did you just say you have" glare.
I think there is a fair concern that a more invasive university administration policy regarding Rebel students at baseball games could have similar, yet likely less dramatic results. Members of the fairer sex enjoy the social aspect of baseball games. They love an excuse to be outside, drink a few beers, maybe play with a puppy you just adopted (mission "adopt a dog to attract chicks" accomplished), and spend time with fellow younger folks. And, to boot, they are able to do all of this for free.
They're not there to watch the game. Any male who has ever watched a game from right field knows this. Making it more difficult for students to attend baseball games will ensure that those least interested in the sport are least likely to purchase or undergo the hassle of actual Rebel baseball tickets. Just as Ole Miss basketball only attracts basketball geeks (i.e., those who write for Red Cup Rebellion), Ole Miss baseball could eventually suffer a similar fate. It's a long shot--a very long shot--but it's nowhere close to impossible.
Mind you, this doesn't affect me directly. I have not been an Ole Miss student for nearly two years. I have not stepped foot in Oxford-University Stadium since the Rebels swept (then-#1) Georgia during last year's Double Decker. I do think, though, that the university's goal to make, what, a few thousand bucks is shortsighted and sacrifices something excellent for something good for some spare change.
Hey, but it'll be convenient and online and shit (like it was when I was a freshman--why they went back to paper tickets I don't know). Yay?
Oh, and there is a very distinct possibility that I'll be wrong here. If that's the case, any one of y'all is welcome to bake me a gigantic crow pie.