This is our final installment on technology's impact on the fan experience. Today, I'mma dive into what I think the future may hold for college football players, coaches, and fans. These are all wild guesses, only some of which are the result of actual lurid thought.
Despite what people may think, the past sucked and the future is going to be awesome. Just think floating cars and matching silver tunics and generic sci-fi things like that. Developments such as modern agriculture, medicine, and electronics have made our lives relatively long, worry free, and simple. I say "relatively" because, even today, people complain about how short, stressful, and difficult life can be.
Your caveman ancestors think you're an idiot for having this sentiment.
Regardless, life today is better than it ever has been due to technology and, if current trends hold - they always have - this won't change anytime soon. This means, undoubtedly, that the life of the college football players, coaches, and fans will to be benefited by technology in years to come. But how?
While safety may not at all increase for the players (evidence suggests that injuries are more prevalent now with the pads than they were without the pads), we can confidently presume that sports medicine - along with allmedicine - will do nothing but improve. Bruised muscles, broken bones, torn ligaments, and the many other issues players of the game suffer through will be treated better; concussions will be better understood and avoided; and there will be like, you know, magical pills and shit. I'm just going by what 1980's sci-fi flicks have shown me. Hell, we've already got people with artificial this and reconstructed that playing football; who knows where this ends? Titanium alloy prosthetics? Carbon fiber bones? LASER EYES TO FUCKING ZAP PEOPLE?! Medicine can, one day, give us all of these things and, hopefully, transform from a science necessary to maintain a modern society into a novelty allowing human beings to fly and shoot rockets out of their asses.
The coaches? They'll use technology like, I dunno, video taping and pneumatics and stuff to blackmail recruits, wire money to recruits, purchase cars for recruits, drug and kidnap recruits, and scheme into a loss against Vanderbilt. Exciting times, I say.
But the real benefit comes for we the fans. We Rebels will tailgate in flotillas of levitating Grove tents, having our drinks served to us by waist-high servant bots (think of what Jabba the Hutt did to R2D2 aboard the party barge and tell me that a droid serving you a gin drank wouldn't be the bee's knees) while we sit in leather chairs with cupholders and massagers and things.
Remember how in Wall E Disney
got all fucking bullshitty preachy with their audience in a very condescending manner everybody was like super fat and sluggish and just shoved shitty food in their faces while complaining all day? Ole Miss Rebel fan base in 100 years. Get pumped. Oh, and 3D television, that's gonna be pretty cool I suppose.
I, for one, am pretty excited about what the future may hold. I'm sure that I'll one day end up crotchety and old-fashioned and wildly confused by newfangled anythings, but that doesn't mean I won't be able to Tweet smartassed Ole Miss related nonsense. Boosh!
Hotty Toddy, beat Tennessee, and gimme dat paper Samsung.