- Alabama - No explanation necessary.
- Florida - Rejoice, SEC, Tebow is gone and with him, a few Gator victories and sappy press conferences! How the Urban Meyer situation shakes out will be the SEC's biggest offseason story.
- Ole Miss - A disappointment, sure. But really, anybody who wasn't Alabama had a disappointing season.
- LSU - If the Capital One Bowl hadn't been played in a minefield LSU would have had a much greater chance of beating Penn State.
- UGA - Beating the horse turds out of Texas A&M isn't that impressive. But, Georgia was certainly the best of the SEC's 7-5 regular season teams.
- Auburn - Was that Northwestern game not the most exciting damn thing of the entire bowl season?
- Arkansas - Awesome, you squeaked by an ECU team which had you by the balls before their kicker decided that winning wasn't nearly as thrilling as having your heart ripped out in public. But, now that Mallett is staying, Arkansas could be a solid team next year, provided they improve defensively.
- Tennessee - Got a bad draw in the Chick-Fil-A bowl and it showed.
- Kentucky - Kept it respectable against a very talented Clemson team. We at the Cup are going to miss you, Rich Brooks.
- South Carolina - How much longer will Spurrier last?
- Mississippi State - They won their personal Super Bowl, tossing us into our personal Hell. Whatever, I had fun boozing at the Hilton Anatole. What they will be without Anthony Dixon remains yet to be seen.
- Vanderbilt - Finally, Vanderbilt makes sense again.
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