The start of SEC play means this weekly "poke-fun-at-ugly-chicks" post becomes much harder to write. That is because we harp on the less desirable members of the lady population of our opposing fan bases and, in a conference known for it's belles, that becomes increasingly difficult and dishonest. Yes, even South Carolina has some serious talent even in comparison to Ole Miss.
We redshirt Miss Americas. Obviously, South Carolina doesn't let them see globes (ed: She went to App. State but whatever).
South Carolina women have been known to scare away small children with their "beauty." This was the first state to secede from the Union prior to the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln wrote in his diary that day, "It is imperative we make strides to recoup the state of South Carolina back into our union of states. The women there are so ugly, they make me look like a more refined Eric Bana."
But, One Man, Eric Bana wasn't around in the 1860's? Get off my balls, I'm not looking up heartthrobs from the 1860's, I'm not Orson Swindle. I take that back, he might know a few off the top of his head.
Holy hell look at this:
TA-DOW...put a beer in that coozy though...
There are the more studious ladies of the South Carolina variety. That's where I always look for the hotties:
The women do have to walk a very fine line of being too much of a USC fan, however. This girl has a huge cock on her head, which is usually something men find appealing:
Oh good, it's a piece of decorative head-wear, that's what I was hoping from the earlier description...
And their women certainly show out during Gamecock tailgates. Just check out these "chicks." See that? Chicks? Yeah I'm hilarious. I know.
Whoa.... Listen, Princess Cockette, stop trying to be the center of attention.
The guys of South Carolina are a complete mess. They wear shirts and hats with COCKS all over them. Or sometimes they take it a step further:
I see what you did there, and I raise you a BUST A NUTT!!!11!! Now we're all in 8th grade again.
South Carolina alums include the now infamous Rep. Joe Wilson, Hootie and the Blowfish and of course, who could forget WWE ring announcer...Lillian Garcia:
I don't have to tell you that your parents are really fucking proud of you.