clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Weekend Plans - Chapter The Last

It's Summertime.  Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time.  We're having fun, and we would like you to as well.  While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied.  As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as how to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff.

Every weekend has a theme song.  For this weekend: "Gimme (some fuckin') Shelter" by The Rolling "Fuckin'" Stones. Enjoy.

Real, live, not-practice SEC football: being--holy shit holy shit holy shit--less than one week away.
A lot of Ole Miss freshmen girls: Gettin' cut from sorority rush before it even starts. (OMG! STANDARDS!) This has been a damn good offseason... for the dudes.
Memphis Fans: Making sure to take their DeAngelo Williams jerseys to the dry cleaners so they can look all gussied up on ESPN.

The writers of this blog: Calm before the storm. Seriously, it's about to get nuts.
Memphis' 265 pound starting right tackle: shitting himself
Greg Hardy: not driving or walking down stairs (please, please, please)

Memphis' Offensive Coordinator:   Drawing up screen plays for Carlos Singleton. Ramming square pegs into round holes.

Juco: trying his damndest to put some sort of sexual innuendo involving Tommy West on a T-shirt.
Ghost: Smoking a boston butt before crashing a kegger on Saturday night.  Will likely break something or engage in generally regrettable behavior.

Eli Manning: Buying shit you couldn't afford with 14.35 salaries.

The Southern Proper/RCR Contest: Being easily narrowed down to three.

So that's it until at least the end of football season. I know. It's sad. We're going to miss it too.

Lastly, we seriously have the same number of contest entries as we had six days ago. Stop making us look bad in front of the Southern Proper girls. They're nice and pretty.