clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Weekend Plans - 4th of July Weekend

New, 4 comments

It's Summertime.  Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time.  We're having fun, and we would like you to as well.  While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied.  As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff.


Every weekend has a theme song.  For this weekend: "America the Beautiful" by Ray Charles. Enjoy.


We've avoiding your lame-ass excuse for an Independence Day celebration after the break.

Tommy Tuberville is sending post-cards to all his old friends in administration at Auburn of himself deep-sea-fishing off the coast of Perdido in the boat they unwillingly bought him with the caption, "The real meaning of 'Independence Day.'"

Jo Jo Tann is stumbling off the Orange Line at the Foggy Bottom stop in Washington, D.C.  No joke here.  That's just what we really saw Jo Jo Tann doing a few hours ago.

Bobby Petrino is defecting to al Quaida.

Inspired by our forefathers, The Fans of Mississippi State University and the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville in Congress Assembled in order to form a code of consistent spellings for words like "Weebels" and "Old Pi$$" and provide for their common defense (they've got almost enough players, combined, for one good secondary) do ordain and establish this First Mississippi River Congress, and, as first act, do affirm that Houston Nutt is "a gay."

(Emo) Greg Hardy is disgusted by your decadence, defiant in the face of your imperialism, and promising to expose the real intentions of your military industrial complex.  Also, really pissed at Dad right now.

Phil Fulmer is modifying a reenactment of a seminal event in America's struggle for self-determination.  Join him tomorrow, and, likely, every subsequent day for the Knoxville Doughnut Party.

 

Billy Mays is repairing angels' wings with Mighty Putty and Orange Glo'ing those streets of gold.

Devin Britton is taking the fight straight to those Red Coats.

Ghost and Ivory are in the District of Columbia drinking beer, listening to the Marine Corps Band, eating red meat, watching baseball, and talking smack about Mexico's Lubbock-trailer-park-looking-embassy.  This country is fantastic.

Fill in your date books below.