clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Weekend Plans - July 17

It's Summertime.  Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time.  We're having fun, and we would like you to as well.  While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied.  As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff.

Every weekend has a theme song.  For this weekend: "Naïve Melody: This Must be the Place" by Talking Heads (ed: totally Ghost's jam for real) Enjoy.

Larry Fedora: Talking to a "packed house"(see: two dozen) of Eagle Club members at the local Buffalo Wild Wings about an effort to sell out their massive ROCK.

Richie Contartesi: Gloating about his skills after reading glowing assessments of his skills and "good family" on the Spirit Message Board.

Nick "Big" Parker, South Panola RB: Moving cars at his uncle's junk throwing them.

Ghost of Jay Cutler: Drunkenly debating with someone in the Northeast who is convinced that the atmosphere at a Syracuse basketball game rivals anything the SEC can produce. (ed: One Man came up with that; he says the Vegas betting odds on this actually happening are 2/1)

One Man: Going to see the joke. He still hasn't fucking seen this movie.  Seriously, get on top of it.

Barack Obama: Watching the replay of the Grove Bowl on CSS (AND DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY FROM THE INSIDE-OUT!!11)

Ole Miss Spirit Posters: Thinking up more names for Dan Mullen, debating star counts, and praying for sick pets. Regretting their existence.

Abby McGrew Manning: Taking fertility drugs

Eli Manning: Hopefully not using protection

Jerrell Powe: "C'mon red shell...  c'mon red shell... c'mon red sh--BANANA PEEL!  SHIT!"
Houston Nutt: Lip syncing old rock tunes while dancing around his parents house in his underwear

Gene Chizik: Admitting to the media that he is in fact the coach who did not select Tebow for the All-SEC team.  He further cements his place as one of the conference's worst coaches by revealing his selection to have been Jonathan Crompton.

Damien Robinson: Eatin' some spagiti while listenin' to Byunce and playin' Maddon OB OLINE WHOOP WHOOP!

Whiskey Wednesday: In a drunken rage following his recent deniall of SEC Media Days passes, WW marches into the SEC offices in Birmingham and demands to speak with Mike Slive. Upon learning that Mr. Slive is not at the office on a Saturday, he pees in a garbage can and flips off the receptionist.