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John Daly & Houston Nutt paired in St. Jude Classic

Yes, it's happening


Houston Nutt arrives at the St. Jude Classic in usual rare form, stepping all hibbity dibbity down the cart path. John Daly throws a Marlboro Red and coinciding smoked turkey leg to the ground and lets out his usual hungover roar.


Nutt: Hey brother, long time no see.

Daly: Yeah, I've been passed out since the night you BEAT #1 LSU WITH THE DAMN ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Nutt: Hey, Hey, giggity, I hate to interrupt, but um, I'm no longer coaching there, brother.

Daly: Well, damn, where'd you go?

Nutt: I'm at Ole Miss now, giggity.

Daly: Well, Hotty Toddy, gosh almighty, when's Ole Miss gonna beat somebody!?!?! HAHA!!! *cough* *cough* Damn, my caddy told me that one. He also told me to quit smoking and drinking whiskey. What an asshole right?

Nutt: *nodding with a chuckle* So, what're you doing at this whole charity deal? 

Daly: Oh, hell, it's judge ordered. Apparently, buying hot wings for Make-A-Wish kids at Hooter's doesn't count as "community service." What about you?

Nutt: I'm just dodging the recruiting trail, because God knows that I'm no good at it, giggity goo.

Daly: Hell yeah, I know what you mean. So how's that whole Ole Miss thing going?

Nutt: I got some good boys on the team last year, and we whupped Florida down in the Swamp and made it to the Cotton Bowl and embarrassed Texas Tech. We used a motto to bring the team together...we said we had to have "One Heartbeat."

Daly: Man, my doctor says I've barely got one of those left in the old ticker.

Nutt: You're only 43.

Daly: Yeah, but my life long motto has been NICOTINE, PROTEIN AND CAFFEINE. WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! PIG SOOIE RAZORBACK!!!! One pack of the cancer sticks per round, a breakfast of porterhouse steak and eggs with cheese and a two liter of diet coke per hole. 

Nutt: Well, this oughta be an interesting 18 holes. 


The unlikely pair bops and waddles off into the sunrise across the dew strewn blades of grass at the St. Jude Classic towards the first tee box.