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The 'Dega-Auburn Swing: How Alabama Gets Weird for Halloween

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JUCO and I travelled the length and breadth of Alabama this weekend in search of Rebel wins and reasonably cute girl NASCAR fans.  Guess how that all turned out?  A hundred bucks, a decent pair of shoes, and a bottle of Wild Turkey 101 later, all these pictures seem like a distant dream.  Nevertheless, here they are ...

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A-B-U-U-R-N!

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Christmas came early for Auburn, and I think there's an interception return for touchdown in that bag.

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Before the game, neither the Auburn fans nor their purported "Navy Nightmare" were very scary.

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Good gravy!  These people are absolutely obsessed with Alabama.

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Captions really don't do this guy justice.

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Here we see a young Auburn fan who obviously believes - somewhat legitimately - that he presently possesses all the skills necessary to throw for at least two touchdowns and no interceptions against Ole Miss.

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Nature itself cries.

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The Auburn fan distinguishes himself from the Rebel by displaying his tail freely and obscenely, as opposed to tucked firmly between his legs.

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Yeah, we got took there.

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Welcome to 'Dega, baby.  It's like the Grove, but beer is encouraged and sun dresses are replaced with home-modified blue jeans and a perfume called "diminished inhibitions."

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Alabama mass transit.

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Credible evidence that Halloween and Talladega don't mix.  Wonder if this guy got thrown in the clink under Alabama's flag desecration statutes?

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LaNdShArK!!1!  Costume win.

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Dale Earnhardt, Junior, shown here in his natural habitat - way behind whoever is leading the race.

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This is either an unbalanced fan or an intriguing prototype for funding public schools.

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If NASCAR flyovers don't give you a patriotic tingle in your special places, then I suspect you may be a communist - an impotent communist.

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NASCAR is fun because instead of two fan bases hurling insults at one another, it's a 43-way world war of hate.  Except with regard to Juan Pablo Montoya, who brings out the anti-immigrant public policy analyst in all race fans.

The race ended under caution, which was - similarly to the game - a bit of a downer.  Junior ran out of gas, blowing a chance for his first win since before the days of "horseless carriages."  And the Rebels' "best-case bowl scenario" is spiraling closer to Nashville every day.  But, no matter what else happens ...

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...TSWRA!