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Yet Another Message from the Right Reverend Houston Nutt

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Brothers and sisters, a time is coming. I say a tiiiiiiime is a'coming, when we shall all have to meet our devils on this lonely road of life. Ain't that right, Brother Pete? Man told me once, he said, "Reverend! Ask yo'self - when was the last time you seen the devil walking along yo' path." I said, "Brother, I ain't never seen the devil walking along my path." And he said, "REVEREND! Then maybe you and he going the same direction."

Brothers and sisters, a time is a'coming soon - dare I say SATURDAY - when we will see devils, spirits, ghouls and haints of all sort walking verily among these sacred grounds of Oxford.  And if you don't believe it, you need to just look.  To just read.  To just listen.  For your old preacher done seen it.  I've laid my eyes upon it.  Good LAAAWWD, I done walked amongst it!

Can I get one of my dear brothers to read tonight's passage.

1  And there was in those days a flock to the West from whence came the High Priest.  They covered themselves in garments like that which is stained with blood and beckoned the unclean animal, that is, the swine which they worshipped.  And they called themselves "Arkansas."  2  And they would go up to the Mount of Koolaid and drink from the cup.  While they were drunk from the cup, they would call out to anyone who passed nearby, boasting of their supremacy among the peoples.  3  However, they were not truly of the peoples.  They had only come to be among the peoples when their land had been ravaged by locusts and NCAA sanctions.  4  Because of their short time among the peoples, they had little understanding of the ways of the peoples, and they counted their own merit as the greatest among all the peoples.


5  And then, one day, a vision came to their high priest, Houston of Giggity, who had come with that Arkansans since from their time in their first land.  6  He foresaw a vision of his own people heaving insults against him from the Mount of Koolaid, as if he were not one of the Arkansans.  7  Houston of Giggity was very distressed.


8  Then the word of the Almighty came to him in the form of a FOIA request, and the high priest, Houston of Giggity, knew that all he had foreseen would come true.  9  So, the high priest bid farewell, even to his most favored children, and set out east to find a true flock.


Giggiteronomy 1:1 - 9

 I don't know how to make it clearer to you.

Now, some folks out there are going to ask me, "Preacher, how we gone handle these devils?"  or "Preacher, what we gone do when we lose faith?" or "Preacher, don't we still need to worry about protection against the pass rush?"  And I don't know!  I don't know about that!  All I know is that we've got heart.  Okay?  That's all it takes is heart, and we've got it in spades.  Heart and healthy kidneys.

 

I know there has been all sorts of talk about me and the Arkansans.  Me and the Arkansans.  There ain't nothing to that.  You know how I spell Arkansas?  I-G-N-O-R-E, at least that's what comes up on my cell phone when they call or text.  Here's what I'm focused on - our glorious reward!  Ho-SANNA great giggity!?

 

Now, y'all know brother Jevan needs you.  And brother Greg.  And brother Marshay.  (From the back:  "What about Brother Dexter?")  Brother who?  Yeah, him too.  Whatever.  So, if we all close our eyes and believe real good, everything is gone turn out.  

 

Giggity giggity shalom and giggity!