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Something Closer to Truth Than Rumor

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Before you all mess your britches and have to run to the powder room, let me warn that this is no recruiting related. I am not going to tell you that Stwarkonious Biscotti, or whatever creatively named 5-star, will "go giggity." It is also not tennis related (so, feel free to keep reading). It is, though, about an athlete of particular popular appeal, who, like his compatriots at the Palmer-Salloum Tennis Center, performed markedly well in the class room last fall.

I have it on good authority (my super-secret, top-level-clearance source in the athletic office) that Jerrell Powe, once famed derided for his grammatically incorrect possession of crayons, made a higher-than-half-the-university 2.9 last semester.

2.9 is not just better than the all-university average, it's better than the all-women's average. It's better than the all-Greek average. It's, obviously, better than the all-team average. And, it's one tenth of a point away from Academic All-SEC.

If you feel froggy, you can contact the NCAA Eligibility Center (formerly the the NCAA Initial Eligibility Clearinghouse) and tell them what a bunch of racist, bigot, no-account snot rags they are at (317) 917-6003.