What I Hate About the SEC
1. Jefferson Pilot/Lincoln Financial/Raycom - Nobody is going to miss you, Dave, Dave, and Dave. All you ever did was force us to wake up far too early just to watch a terrible mismatch unfold before our half-opened, crust-cornered eyes. Sure, ESPN will likely have excruciatingly early broadcasts as a part of the new TV deal, but at least the games won't look like they were filmed with a 30-year-old camera.
2. Southeastern Weather - Hurricanes push our games around and the early season's sweltering heat can be miserable.
3. Stupid Fans - Every single school has them and they are all absolutely horrible. Forrlz.
4. Florida - Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Sunshine State. Fun fact, at the beginning of the 20th Century, Florida was the least populated state in the Southeast. At the end, it had become the most populated. How is this the case? Well, a bunch of New Yorkers, New Englanders, and the like realized that living in cold, crowded, urban areas was a shitty way to go through life (we've been telling you this for generations) and thought, "hey, there's a lot of empty space down there, let's fill it up with our horrible accents and attitudes!" And that they did. While we love what Florida does for the SEC with the national championships and all (seriously, thanks), we don't like your fanbases overall lack of Southeastern history. "But, brah, I live in Dade county." My point exactly. Simply put, if you can't find fried chicken with greens, mac 'n' cheese, and a biscuit outside of a KFC, then you're not in the South.
5. Alkeeehol Being Shunned - LSU fans, move onto the next list. Your state had a progressive alcohol attitude before the locomotive was invented. Now, on with the program. While it is certainly a much greater problem at Ole Miss than it is at other SEC schools, there is certainly an issue with the Southern alcohol culture. The fact that no SEC venue can sell booze is, in my opinion, silly and a poor business move. Pretending like people don't like to booze up doesn't make it any less true, you puritans.
What I Love About the SEC
1. Football dominance - In terms of BCS titles, stadium attendance, television deals, NFL athlete production, and revenue generation, nobody can touch us. College football is our game.2. Southeastern weather - I've never attended a game played in a blizzard. Hell, I've never even attended a game with anything more than a few flurries floating around. Being able to wear a light sweater or a vest to a game in November isn't a bad deal at all.
3. The continual love/hate relationships we all have with each other - The rivalries in the SEC are bitter, longstanding, and emotional. Alabama hates Tennessee who hates Florida who hates Georgia who hates Auburn who hates Alabama. There are plenty of these "hatred webs" and they're all vicious, circuitous, mindboggling, and incredibly thrilling. Of course, when bowl season rolls around, we change tune right away. While we SEC fans are incredibly proud of our schools, we're even more proud of our region. We do not want other Southeastern teams to be defeated by non-Southeastern teams which is a phenomenon you do not see in other conferences.
4. Food and Drink - Admit it, there's a place you've chowed or drank at in every SEC town that you've visited that you absolutely covet. Whether you're looking for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or the inability to see out of your left eye for a few days, every SEC town has got you covered. Hell, the SEC can also be credited with the invention of the fried chicken tender franchise with Abner's, Canes, and Zaxby's all having originated in SEC towns. Couple that with tailgating, bourbon (there's a reason Kentucky is in the SEC), and the ability of an LSU fan to batter and subsequently deep fry anything and it becomes no wonder as to why our region is America's fattest.
5. The Women - The rest of America covets our women. True story. There's lots of evidence out there, but I know I'm preaching to the choir on this one. Congrats, SEC fans.
If you've got a top 5 for either list, please share them.
HT: EDSBS for the Bugs Bunny graphic.