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A Message to the 30-some-odd Bowl Committees

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What are you looking for in bowl matchups? Are you looking for the pair of teams which will provide your bowl with an interesting, competitive, and relevant matchup?

No.

Are you looking for emotional, heartwarming side stories or 4th quarter heroics?

No and no.

Are you looking to make a shit-ton of money off of ticket sales, TV ratings, and foolish spending by visiting fanbases?

Fuck yeah!

Well, then Ole Miss is the school which you should schedule for your bowls.

Certainly, your skepticism is natural. We're one of the SEC's smallest fanbases, being as how we hail from a small state and a relatively small university and, as of late, have not been a postseason presence. But, as we have established, you're looking to make money and, despite these hard economic times, we're helping to sell out stadiums, setting bar sales records, and boosting TV ratings.

Granted, being a part of the record setting Cotton Bowl crowd isn't too spectacular, considering that this is the first Cotton Bowl after the stadium expansion and that Texas Tech fans deserve a half of the credit with these respects. But, to say that the bar sales records and television ratings aren't intriguing would be 'tarded.

Think about it for a minute. Of all the conventions, sporting events, and other massive gatherings of thirsty people that have ever been held in Dallas, this last Cotton Bowl's band of Rebel fans set the record for booze sales at hotel bars.

And, to have a Texas Tech vs. Ole Miss matchup draw a TV rating that was a mere one-tenth-of-a-point lower than a Wisconsin vs. Florida State matchup must turn some heads.

So, bowl committees, you should certainly consider the Ole Miss Rebels in future bowl pairings. We'll fill the pockets of your corporate sponsors, respective cities, and broadcast partners with sweet, green cash. You'd be a damned fool to think to look us over come next year.