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The Kennedys are having some, err, "issues."

SCENE: The Kennedy residence, Oxford, MS, 11:29 PM, master bedroom suite

Kimberly Kennedy - Oh, Aaaannnnddddyyyy....

Kimberly Kennedy sexily catwalks into the room, eyes fixed on her husband. Andy Kennedy, frustrated and tired, sits at the foot of their bed, head in hands with both feet planted firmly on the floor.

Andy Kennedy: Yes, dear...

KK: Why don't you take a look up here, big boy.

AK looks up towards his wife. She is wearing a colored tank top, panties, and high heels.

AK: Sexy... *sigh*

KK: Andy, what's wrong? You normally love my "field-hockey-player-undressing-in-the-locker-room" look?

AK: Ugh, damn dear, it's just, well, shit I've just got too much going on and I just can't really focus on anything right now.

KK: Not even.... me?

KK slowly raises her left leg high above the floor, and slowly slides it between AK's legs. She sits, straddling his knee, and looking him in the eyes. She places both of her hands over his shoulders and behind his head.

KK: Give it to me, Andy.

AK: Oh, baby...

Andy and Kimberly fall backwards onto their bed, grappled by the powerful eminence of their love. After several heavy minutes, their early attempts at lovemaking come to a sudden halt.

KK: Andy, c'mon, what's going on!?

AK: I'm sorry babe, it just won't go. It's not working right now I guess.

KK: What the fuck, Andy?

AK: I'm sorry, Kimberly! I'm sorry! I just don't know what's going on? I guess there's just too much on my mind right now, alright?!

KK: Andy, dear, what's on your mind. C'mon babe, tell me.

AK: Well, it's just that.. It's just

AK's eyes well up, his face turns red, and his words then become to loudly and quickly burst out of his mouth.

AK: I mean, with all of the shit that's going on right now I just CAN'T TAKE IT! My little Chris, Trevor, and Eniel... oh, my sweet Eniel... they're all going through so much right now and... *deep breath* ...and the young guys they're trying so hard and they're learning but they've just go so far to go and *deep breath* they just try so hard and it's just frustrating as a coach and that damn...

AK sits upright at the foot of the bed, head in hands.

AK: That damn IPF is taking for-fucking-EVER and I want it NOW! I want it, I want it, I want it NOW! And they booed him, baby, they booed him! He didn't deserve that!

KK: Who?! They booed who?!

AK: Houston! They booed him! Those damn Arkansas fans booed him! He's my FRIEND DAMMIT! He always talks about how special I am and about how he loves that headband and I LOVE THAT HEADBAND TOO! He's my friend and they were just so mean to him at the game!

The room goes quiet. KK slips next to AK and calmly begins to speak.

KK: But, Andy, this happens all of the time, remember. We are, Ole Miss? Remember?!

AK: I guess... But, I dunno, there's also that cab driver and that Colby Arceneaux looking motherfucker valet guy. I just can't get them out of my head! They think I'm a racist, Kimberly. I'm not a racist! I'm a motherfucking BASKETBALL coach! How in the hell can I be a racist? And, it's just, it was all on the news and they said I was a violent man and that I hit him when really, it was just all a confusing situation! And now, we've got all of these lawsuits and such and well, I just can't take it! I can't do my damn job anymore baby... I just can't do it. I'm sorry baby, I just can't find you sexy tonight, not with all of this on my mind.

KK jumps out of the bed and storms out of the room. AK jumps up and follows quickly behind.

AK: Where are you going?!

KK: That's IT! I'm calling our lawyer!

AK: Baby, dearie, Sweetie McBuns, this isn't worth getting a divorce over!

KK: Divorce? DIVORCE?! This isn't about a damned divorce, Andy! I'm going to sue that fucking [racial slur redacted], no good piece of [racial slur redacted] shit, [racial slur redacted], [racial slur redacted], [somewhat-clever-yet-still-insensitive racial slur redacted] Mohamed bastard for wedging his [racial slur redacted] bullshit in between our slim, sex-starved bodies! I NEED THIS, ANDY!