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No More Elvis?

Starting Saturday, the administration is doing away with playing Elvis on the PoweTron.

While nothing close to a longstanding Ole Miss tradition, having Elvis Presley sing "American Trilogy" on our big-ass HD screen after home games is, at least conceptually, pretty damn cool. Think about it, one of Mississippi's native children singing the song which inspired one of the greatest marching band songs in the Southeastern Conference on a screen which is using enough electricity to power 2.5 Congos (or at least 1 Burkina Fasao).

It doesn't matter who you are; that's pretty damn cool.

You know what else is pretty damn cool? Elvis.

You know what isn't? Chanting "The South Will Rise Again."

Now, we at le Cup have a trustworthy source telling us that the main reason for the doing away of the King has mostly to do with whoever's in charge of these kinds of things not asking for permission from the Presley estate (seriously, how absolutely stupid can you be?). Of course, history indicates that we've got a dumb enough administration for that to be true, but you know (and our source confirms) that the "traditional" chanting of TSWRA after "From Dixie With Love" had at least something to do with this change.

This bugs the shit out of me.

While I feel our administration's efforts to better the university's image have largely been successful and forward thinking, this one is just stupid. Of course, if license issues are involved then there isn't really anything we or anyone else can say. Our administration didn't ask for permission to play a video of Elvis Presley on our jumbotron and somehow thought that wasn't going to be an issue.

Dumb, dumb, dumb... but forgivable.

But, if they feel that folks are crying "racism" because of an Elvis song, they're way off base. And, another thing, if they think that this song was encouraging the chanting of TSWRA they were also incredibly mistaken.

Personally, I never heard it said during the Elvis video, but I'm not about to deny it's existence. It likely happened and it was certainly as disgusting as always. However, Elvis may just be the key we need to get this scourge of a "tradition" removed from Vaught-Hemingway altogether.

Here, let me try to get the message across:

Chanters of "The South Will Rise Again,"

What in the fuck are you doing? Look, I know you think Ole Miss is all "old timey" and "Southern" and shit but let's get one thing straight: TSWRA isn't cool. I know you and your buddies from suburban Dallas/Atlanta/St. Louis love pack up your F250's with cans of dip, drive down to Oxford, start saying y'all, and pretending like you enjoy cole slaw.

It's cute. It's endearing.

It shows us real folks from the Magnolia State that you find Mississippi to be a pretty damned cool place. Folks like me who grew up here, however, don't go around wearing stripmall linens while listening to Lynard Skynard and hating black people. And we certainly do not chant "The South Will Rise Again" (or at least those of us who are really worth a damn).

We don't chant TSWRA because, as Mississippians, we've learned that our shit has already risen.

"What?!?! That's preposterous! I'm from suburban Atlanta, God dammit and we have URBAN OUTFITTERS! You haven't risen."

Bullshit we haven't. Mississippi (and the South) did rise again when Elvis Aaron Presley took the motherfucking world by storm.

You think TSWRA is cool? You think you're cool? Naw, motherfucker. Elvis was cool. No matter how many Ole Miss blogs I run; no matter how many unsolicited high-fives I get; no matter how many Airships shows I go to, I will never, not in a billion years, be half as cool as Elvis fucking Presley. You, as well, need to come to terms with your plight.

Elvis was a young man from Tupelo, Mississippi who started his recording career in Memphis, Tennessee. He was a man who loved his God, family, and country before fame and money. He was a man who could sing and dance the panties off of any woman on Earth.

And guess what. He sang "His truth is marching on" at the end of American Trilogy.

You know why? Because those are the actual fucking lyrics, you douche. Stop making my state and school look bad.

If Elvis were still alive, he'd kick your ass, burn your F250, and sit on your limp body while he ate a catfish dinner. Then, he'd write you a check for the medical bills and the truck (because he fucking can) before leaving it in your back pocket.

Elvis starts trends. You don't. End of story.

Ole Miss administration, listen up. Having Elvis on the PoweTron is a great idea, especially after a win. I, along with many others, found it quite fitting after the Memphis victory. Get the rights to play it and let these asshats see , in the presence of their King, that they are the lowliest of peons.