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Arkansas Straw Men - Part 3

Omigah like HaPpY hAlLoWeEn Y'a-wulll!!

Shazzam! The Ghost of Jay Cutler is gettin' ready for what is likely going to be the most bomb-ass weekend this side of Mardi Gras. A good but of us Red Solo Cuppers are going to be attending a wedding this weekend (one of us is getting married and, no, we're not saying who) and we're going to set a new standard for gettin' dranked. If Memphis is a smoldering pile of ash by Sunday morning, you can blame these assholes right here.

Anywho, if we don't do a whole lotta updatin' over the next couple of days, you'll know why.

Ok, well, having that been said, here's

Arkansas Straw Man Number 3: "Houston Nutt is the Devil... I mean, he porked a weatherlady!"

I would hope an SEC coach could do better...

To cover this, I'm going to use an excerpt from a swap piece we're doing with Razorback Expats which, as a member of the illustrious SEC Power Poll, is a damn great college football blog. No, I'm not bullshittin' ya. It really is a good blog and if you haven't been checking it out on occasion you really should. We were asked about the Houston Dale "honeymoon" and what our true feelings towards Coach Nutt were. Part of my response is below:

Look, we know that he says wacky stuff like "yehaw" and "special" all of the time. We know that he banged a weatherlady (go get 'em, tiger). We know that he's oftentimes self absorbed. We know all of these things. But here's what a lot of you Arkansas fans don't get: we've had fucking batshit motherfucking crazy son of a bitch as a head coach. His name was Ed Orgeron. He had the temperament, body odor, and IQ of a shrimpboat captain. He hated interacting with the fans and media. He bled Red Bull. He was unintelligible. He received counseling for his issues with domestic violence. He was arrested for getting into a bar fight… in Baton Rouge. All of this got him placed on probation from the Athletic Department of the University of MIAMI!

You Hogs love to talk about how horrible Houston Nutt was. Naw, lawya. We know horrible. Trust us. Houston Nutt doesn't hold a candle to Eddie O.

Arkansas fans really think they had it bad with Nutt. He (egads!) fibbed to recruits and (gadzooks!) had an extramarital affair (as if that has anything to do with coaching) and he even would make a goober of himself during press conferences! The horror! The agony!

Arkansas, we have no pity. This motherfucker was our head coach. Capiche? I've said it once before on a comment thread here, and I'll say it again: Arkansas may have had no shoes, but we Rebels had no feet.

And another thing: all of this finger pointing comes from a state that loves Bill Clinton. He can get his knob slobbed in the White House and everyone's all cool, but if a coach bangs a lady from the local news station, you're outraged? I mean, come on Arkansas. I've never seen more obsenely bizarre double standards come from anyone else.

Have a kickass weekend everyone, Rebels and Hogs.