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State of the Opposition - Week 1

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The opposition is out to get us. Constant surveillance is required to keep accurate tabs on their where-abouts and goings-on. The British had MI-6 and James Bond. Nixon had G. Gordon Liddy. Lord Zed had the Green Ranger.

We have the internet.


August 28, 2008
Wake Forest (Week 2) def. Baylor, 41-13
The Demon Deacons looked good dismantling the doormats of the Big 12. Riley Skinner produced air mail, going 27 of 36 for 220 yards. The Spirit optimism is that Wake's 41 points overstates its offensive power in this game. The Deacons gained 376 total yards - respectable, but not dynamic.

Samford (Week 3) def. West Georgia, 21-19
The Bulldogs held on for a tight victory, intecepting West Georgia late in the fourth quarter in Samford territory.

Vanderbilt (Week 4) def. Miami (OH), 34-13
The Commodores upset the preseason MAC favorite Red Hawks in the less-pleasant Oxford. Chris Nickson ran for a notable 166 yards and two touchdowns, no doubt causing even Bobby Johnson to react with drop-jawed expressions of incredulity.

South Carolina (Week 6) def. North Carolina State, 34-0
As bad as the Tommy Beecher experiment was, the (insert Smelley/genital joke)s still beat a respectable BCS opponent 34-0, but with a more Cutcliffe than Spurrier-like 369 total yards. The score, which is the only thing that matters, was about the only impressive thing in this game.

August 30, 2008
Florida (Week 5) v. Hawaii, 12:30 PM EST, Gainesville, Fl.
On a scale of Gisele Bundchen to Hillary Clinton, with Hillary Clinton being the 2008 Sugar Bowl, this game is Steve Buscemi.

Alabama (Week 8) v. Clemson, 8:00 PM EST, Atlanta, Ga.
Everyone seems to be picking Clemson. This much unified confidence in Bowdens not named Bobby usually calls down the thunder in favor of the non-Bowden, ending prematurely my hopes for a Georgia-Clemson Orange Bowl.

Arkansas (Week 9) v. Western Illinois, 7:00 PM EST, Fayetteville, Ar.
The only interesting question here is how many man hours Arkansas fans have spent talking about Houston Nutt on Western Illinois message boards.

Auburn (Week 10) v. UL-Monroe (Week 12), 7:00 PM EST, Auburn, Al.
The only interest question here is how many man hours Auburn fans will spend flaunting their enormous victory on Alabama message boards.

Louisiana State (Week 13) v. Appalachian State, 11:00 AM EST, Baton Rouge, La.
Much has been made of this matchup of defending national champions. I would only note that it was very hospitable of the LSU Administration to set this game for the early morning, sparing Mountaineers of the truly overwhelming experience that is a night game in Baton Rouge. Otherwise, they certainly would have left the Pelican State thinking the Big House to be a pleasant, friendly place to play a football game.

Mississippi State (Week 14) v. Louisiana Tech, 6:45 PM EST, Ruston, La.
There will be no joy in Starkville. I predict the Bulldogs will find, as Ole Miss found last year at Homecoming, that Tech is more than capable of inflicting the terrible "moral loss."