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The Wish List: Richard Scruggs

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Now that Ole Miss alum Richard Scruggs has been sentenced for his role in a Mississippi judicial bribery scandal, he has caught the eye of the staff here at Red Solo Cup.

We're sure that Scruggs will be spending most of his time with his family until he has to report to federal prison on August 4. We also know, though, that Richard Scruggs is a pretty big Ole Miss football fan. The Rebels' last two coaching searches have been performed from Scruggs' personal jet.

So, considering the extra time you have before prison, the fact that you're a solid Ole Miss fan, and the reputation you no longer have any need to protect, maybe you could get about bribing a few folks for us.

Mike Slive
The fate of The One of which We Shall Not Speak lies in the hands of The Commish. Getting that guy qualified would improve our defensive line, improve his quality of life, and really piss off a bunch of State fans and the Orgeron. This is a win-win-win!

Willie Herenton
The Mayor of Memphis can do one important thing for Ole Miss football to ensure the hapiness and well-being of our fans for a generation - bulldoze the Liberty Bowl. After five (going on six) autumns in Oxford, I've had the misfortune of starting everyone with either a visit to or a visit from the Tigers. I know Pete Boone promises that this will be the last meeting between the storied rivals mismatched teams, but there's more than one way to skin a cat. No Memphis football stadium = no Memphis football.

The officials scheduled to work the Alabama game
Obviously, some of us are worried about other games, but this guy really wants to beat Alabama. And I want to cheat at it. I don't want to win fair and square, not even by twenty points in Tuscaloosa. I want to go to Bryant-Denney and snatch victory illegitimately from the jaws of defeat. Because as Bret Maverick says, "There is no more deeply moving religious experience ... than cheatin' on a cheater."

So, there it is, Dickie. Three pretty easy targets, none of which will earn you any more time in the clink, but any of which will cement your place among the Order of Rebel heroes.