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Where Do We Stack Up? Quarterbacks

Again, summertime isn't the best time for a Southern sportswriter (can we call ourselves that now? I just did, I guess); anything football related seems a little rushed. However, having almost conquered GTA IV, there won't be much left other than premature football predictions to help me avoid schoolwork and/or my job. That being said, I'd like to continue our line of preseason stack-ups with quarterbacks and hopefully provide you, the readers, with an idea of what to expect come August.

1. Ryan Perrilloux, Jacksonville State University: What's that you say? JSU isn't a member of the SEC West? Well hot damn, I guess Perrilloux should've thought about that before becoming the biggest fuckup in college football in the last 20 years.

2. John Parker Wilson, Alabama: Obviously, you hate to make this pick. JPW is a bitch, pure and simple. Look at the link: this image is likely similar to the one ingrained in JPW's retinas as we speak. He might not sleep at night because of Greg Hardy. However, in what may very well be a 4-way tie for the best QB in the West, his experience can't be ignored.

3. Jevan Snead, Ole Miss: Damn, what a goofy-ass picture. I am a little less confident in Jevan for having laid eyes on it. In picking Jevan as the 2nd best QB in the West, I'm hedging my bets that we might actually win a few football games this year. Think about it though: how many more games would we have won over the past four years with only average QB play? Jevan can almost certainly keep his completion percentage at over 55, and keep the TD/INT ratio at greater than 1. I'd like to think that he could be much better than that, but those numbers still might make him 2nd in the West. Just one request, Jevan: please, please grow an awesome-ass, small town Texas mullet. We at the RSC would be appreciative, and you'll get laid like carpet anyways.

4. Kodi Burns, Auburn: During the 2007 season, Burns enjoyed a surprising emergence as an offensive dual-threat for the Tigers, while aparently sporting a pretty wicked tan that has since worn off... Anyways, Burns has a lot left to prove as a passer in AU's revamped spread offense, but he has the potential to move drastically up or down this list.

5. Casey Dick, Arkansas: Please, sports gods, please. Don't let Casey Dick/Arkansas be decent next year. It just isn't right. One has to be a bit wary of Dick's hidden potential (that'swhatshesaid!!!!@) after a lights-out performance in Arkansas' spring game. Dick might be most limited by whom he's throwing to.

6. Whoever starts for LSU: Again, fate has been on LSU's side for too long. This guy needs to be miserable. I wish we played LSU on opening day, when the new QB is at his greenest.

7. Wesley Carroll, MSU: MSU's offense can't even score on MSU's defense, as evidenced by the 0-0 snoozefest that was State's spring game. The Maroon-White game probably wasn't even the most interesting thing going on in Starkville that day... Chew on that. Carroll isn't awful, but he is a youthful gunslinger type with no major receiving weapons, a depleted line, or an offensive scheme that plays to his abilities.

So there it is: question marks all around for the quarterbacks of the SEC West. Although this group doesn't have a Tebow or a Stafford, top to bottom, this appears to be a pretty good set of signal callers. And maybe, just maybe, Ole Miss will feature the best of the bunch under center.

That's all for this installment of RSC Stack-ups. More to come later, unless something more interesting is going on.