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The Root of All Evil: Money or Ryan Perrillouxzzr?

HA HA! Trick question, Lewis Black, they are one in the same. And now Coach Les Miles has pulled another one out of his hat, unsuspending his star domestic abuser and chronic gambler quarterback. WBRZ Channel 2 News has it that Perriloux's suspension is over and the star junior might even return to the team before spring drills end on April 5, presumably so that he will not have this heavy burden weighing him down during finals.

"I just want to make sure he’s doing the work in the classroom and taking care of business," Miles said.

All signs indicate that Perrilloux is doing just that. He has NCAA Tourney Pools circulating in four of his five classes, "tricked out" his "boo" to his pathetic Psych 101 professor, and is currently managing over 200 CentSports profiles.

Jam.

When reached for comment, Senior Solo Cup SEC Analyst Jackie Sherril responded, "Is this really a smart way to run your football program?"