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For Educational Purposes: The Art of Eye  Fucking

The Art of Eye-Fucking

There was a time when I would walk into the mail room and see a girl who consistently gave me the “I’m going to pounce on you” eyes. As I was scanning through my bank statements, cards from my mother, and random pamphlets for grad programs, I’d slyly check up to see if she was still ripping off my clothes with her eyes. Even on the worst day, it was always a nice little perk.

The tried and true method of Eye-Fucking as a means of getting someone’s attention varies per the participants. There are several ways of identifying/going about the eye fuck, and several courses of action to take after it’s happened.

You’ve been eye-fucked:

  • Someone stares at you the way Anna Nicole does while slurring “Trim Spa, babyyy.”
  • # Their eyes stay on you after a quick up-down. If you catch them doing that, they obviously were letting you know they assessed the product and deemed it worthy.

  • Lip biting is a well known “come ‘n’ get it”

  • You’re eye-fucking:

  • You tilt your head back but keep staring.
  • # It’s not bright out, but you’re giving a relaxed squint.

  • You are still staring while thinking how they’d look in handcuffs in your room.

  • What to do after:
    Hard to get (you sly dog): Smirk, raise your eyebrows, shake your head a little, and walk away. They’ll come to you.
    Raise the stakes (you cocky bastard): Bite your lip and nod. Then do the international sign for awkward sex: one finger going in and out of a fist, then lift your palms as if to say, “right?”. Being direct is the best way.
    Be the virginal one (you prude): Look around terrified, point to yourself and mouth, “me?” Then blush and/or wet yourself. They’ll take pity and show you the ropes.
    Be awesome (you sultry master): Smile, approach them, ask if they know they’ve been eye fucking you. If they say yes, you’re in. If they say no, say “well I guess you couldn’t help it.” BAM. Don’t say bam.

    This post is a Red Cup Rebellion FanPost. Please don't sue us.

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