For Levity's Sake, How About Some Message Board Idiots?

It's been a heated couple of days in the Ole Miss internet realm, has it not? Religious bickering, malicious accusations of bigotry, finger-pointing and name-calling have sucked the online lives out of a few of us and made stressful an otherwise un-noteworthy offseason week. On this, a Friday evening spent after a typically arduous workday (current Ole Miss students, you'll know what this is soon enough), we could all use some laughs. Thankfully, the internet is as easy as ever to use, and the idiots have been out in full force as of late. Whether welcoming a new head football coach, speculating on the details of a particular athlete's recruitment, or partaking in yet another Egg Bowl e-fight, the trolls and morons have kept doing all of the magical things that they do to (completely unintentionally) entertain us.

All quoted comments are presented as is, unless something [italicized and in brackets] is present. That'd be me, either fixing something entirely illegible or injecting some knee-jerk annotation of my own. Most of these bits of lunacy are courtesy of the Forward Rebels Facebook wall (THANKS FORWARD REBELS!), but other message boards of all stripes were skimmed to compile this entry.

Enjoy.

On the hiring of Hugh Freeze:

...maybe [Freeze] can clean up the Gangster image of the Players and stop the playing of Gangster Wrap at the stadium. Players need to decide whether they want too act and appear like Gang Members or be a positive force for Ole Miss . Rap Music , Tattoo's, and flashing of what appears to be Gang hand signs on the field does not do that and has no place at Ole Miss. If they cannot they need to go somewhere else. I will not be part of supporting this image any longer. Nothing about this has anything in promoting Christan values and never has.

"Gangster Wrap, for all of your gangster food preservation needs."

Congradulations and welcome home Coach Freeze!

Congrads!

On why players such as Mike Wallace announce their high school instead of Ole Miss when introducing themselves on Sunday Night Football:

Its been instilled in them to be ashame to be from Ole Miss by this Administration, what do you expect. Danny Boy needs to go. Would it not be Great to actually have players again that loved Ole Miss and was proud of her, who played their hearts out and never quit, at the same time being proud to represent her. I will no longer back or support the type players who are nothing more than little under paided pimps, who could care less about the institution that they are suppose to be respresenting. If you don't like Ole Miss go somewhere else because we don't need you.

Too bad he doesn't claim Ole Miss. Screw BJGE. If he'd run half as hard at OM as he does now, he wouldn't have been undrafted.

This idea that BenJarvus Green-Ellis doesn't "claim" Ole Miss has been a recurring topic of contention over at Forward Rebels. Where they get this idea, I dunno. I saw him say "Ole Miss" before the Super Bowl, didn't I? I do know that on Monday Night Football, when they introduce the players, BJGE was listed as having attended Indiana (something which isn't false), but that's more than likely the fault of somebody at ESPN as opposed to BenJarvus himself.

As you'll see, taking idle internet chatter and misunderstandings and repeating them until they become accepted truths is a bit of a time-honored tradition of MBIs.

Oh, and to anybody that says "screw" BenJarvus Green-Ellis: screw you, buddy. He doesn't owe you a damn thing. Law Firm was legit at Ole Miss, and I'm thrilled to see him doing well in the NFL.

Oh, but don't worry, they still love Eli.

Clang clang choo choo train Eli Manning does his thing!!!

Too bad that never caught on...

I totally agree with all of you. We were approached by a lady in a department store today because my husband was wearing his Ole Miss shirt. She made a loud remark at how wonderful it was that we got a new coach. We agreed but I reminded her that we needed to replace Jones. She was shocked and changed her toon. I just loved the sincerity. [If the use of "toon" here didn't make you giggle, then you're broken.]

I know we will get whatever we need to do The PLAYERS SHOULD HAVE COSIDERED UNDER NUTT>> PLAYING ALL FRESHMAN9no expierance0 JUNIORS AND SENIOR had plenty<<

In response to speculation regarding Sean Tuohy for AD:

You do know that he and wife Leanne are for the bear, right? For that reason, I don't want him.

Someone that will bring back tradition, no one wanted the black bear we want what Ole Miss was I don't think that has a thing to do with who plays.

u can forget our traditions ever coming back! Leanne loves the black bear crap [Which she gets in the woods RIGHT GUYS?!]

No. We need someone who understands who we are and why we need to get back our identity. [Yes, because a guy who set records at Ole Miss as a point guard, married his KD wife, and sent all three of his children to Ole Miss doesn't have a clue "who we are."]

Sean Touhy spoke out against Colonel Reb, which is enough for me to say "absolutely not."

I am starting to feel that these people are going to very, very disappointed in whomever becomes AD.

Touhy would never be my choice remember him as a player being a "me player" more than team player think he will be part of the good old boy regime but would be better than what we have. [You remember the SEC's all time leader in assists being a "me player"? Well then you don't know jack shit about basketball.]

Touhy was an advocate of heritage destruction [destruction?] and teamed up with Khayat to eradicate sticks in the stadium (Flags) and favored the elimination of Colonel Reb. He's still pissed that his wife made a boatload of money off her movie/book deal and he didn't get Jack Sh*t. Now he thinks he can fool you goobers into campaigning for him as A.D. What a hootin' joke! The man wants a book deal! Maybe he can sell billboards around Starkpatch.

I'd be against any suck ups who promote that god awful bear. Sorry, that's just the way I roll. I don't compromise with PC fern merchants. [I particularly like the use of "that's just the way I roll" here.]

If they think the bear is nice, I can't approve of 'em.

I showed these Sean Tuohy comments to Ivory Tower who, via email, replied thusly.

What is a fern merchant? Is that some sort of florist-reference intended to denote homosexuality?

And of all the words to use when describing what the Tuhoys, allegedly, think is true about the bear (but that true Ole Miss fans know is not) why would you dispute the "nice"ness of said bear? I could take "If you think the Bear is cool ..." or "... traditional ..." or "... ferocious ..." or " ... a good mascot for Ole Miss ..." then, okay, whatever. But someone who is truly disputing the niceness of an oversized version of a lovable children's play toy? That's cray cray.

It's amazing how this (somehow still ongoing) mascot debate has completely controlled these people's opinions on any and everything.

You want some Dan Mullen/Hugh Freeze religion talk? No? Well here it is anyway!

I just watched a copyright(ed) YouTube video that should not only shut-up mullin (like that's possible) that should make EVERY MooU fan(?) slink back under the patties they crawled from under. Please feel free to view it on my page. Not only is it disgusting, it is disrespectful, certainly offensive to Christians and shows what is really wrong with tsbu. Hotty Toddy!!!

I like it as well. Anything is better than the "Carpetbagger" that we have in there right now.

Dan Jones, a man from Laurel, is a carpetbagger? I guess putting it on quotes was appropriate.

Mullen takes shot at Christianity...Unbelievable! Why does Mullen never address his bastard child that he refuse to pay child support too? [Probably because it doesn't exist.]

I am glad we have someone who honors God as our coach now. I wanted a man of character as our head coach, and I am so glad to see we have one. I would pray for Coach Mullen to see his need for a relationship with Christ, not bad-mouth him: (that's my stance, anyway). I do hope we win on the field this year - it would be great to get the Egg back to Oxford.

Holy hell, a person who actually believes the "Dan Mullen is a Scientologist" meme.

owns a 2-10 team hahahaha. He is obsessed with Ole Miss it is in his mind 24/7. hahahaha state was 6-6 during the regular season, GENIUS that is 500, average. Only at state would that be considered great. mullen is scum. He has all you idiots fooled into thinking you are on top by beating Ole Miss. How many times has he beat Lsu, Bama, Auburn. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think he hates Ole Miss so much for what we done to him when he was a FL. Remember the 4 and 1 up the gut with Tebow that still eating Mullen alive.

This is in response to Dan Jones saying something in some video or speech linked to on Facebook.

‎1-Stop being idiot

2-Grow some balls

3-Look around me & REALLY c whats going on at university I RUN

4-WALK PETE TO THE DOOR & SLAM IT ON HIS ASS ON WAY OUT

5-Stop being idiot

Regarding the bear at basketball games:

It is now official. Considering all of his position changes; efforts to change symnbols and reconfigure Ole Miss into the Staten-Ellis image; and swearing never to address FR's allegations; etc, etc, Dan Jones shall hearafter be referred to as "The Dancing Bear".

I have season tickets to UM basketball games (and have had them for years and years). This year I have not attended a game mainly because I am so offended by the bear. Perhaps I am being irrational, but I can't help the way I feel. I know there are many other fans that feel the way I do. I hope the new athletic director understands that something as divisive as the bear mascot needs to be abolished.

This response to the above post is from our old friend Bri... I mean, Ryan Nerguson.

There are a lot more than you and me Bobby. That is why most all the games tgis year will at most be half full.

Yeah, Ryan, because the Tad Pad has always been crammed shoulder-to-fuckin-shoulder until this season.

But it wasn't all fun and games over at The Forward Rebels. No no. This little bit was posted on the Cup's very own Facebook wall:

who are you and where did you come from bubba colonel reb pac is real my friend mrs catfish is not our only supporter although she is beautiful our last miss america from ole miss susan akin is also with us most true mississippians are proud of their heritage

lolwut...

Oh, but it's not just Ole Miss fans having fun on the internet. No sir. State fans and their epically shitty senses of humor have figured out how to operate YouTube!

Dan Mullen calling Hugh Freeze "gay". Wow. Fucking brilliant, you rubes.

And, for good measure, here's an LSU response to the Liggins announcement.

wow! what a slap in the face to the black bears! and to announce it on the WORLD FAMUS square! GEAUX TIGERS..52-3

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to print off my pamphlets encouraging societies smartest members to breed. Enjoy your weekends.

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