A Proper Fisking of "Ole Miss Played Well, Behaved Poorly"

Mississippi State student journalism, y'all. - Spruce Derden-US PRESSWIRE

Fisking, one of the internet's finest past times.

Joey Frost, a student at Mississippi State University, didn't enjoy his time in Oxford this past weekend. He wrote about his experiences for The Reflector, State's student newspaper and, somehow, they published it. Here's a link to Joey's full column. My line-by-line criticisms and responses of his column are below. Take it away, Joey!

The School Up North.

This is not a sentence.

We avoid using its proper name for a reason.

This is correct, but only partially. You call us "TSUN" because Commissar Mullen tells you to. I'm sure you're too young or are in possession of a far too selective memory to remember that, when Jackie was leading the Bulldogs, y'all did call us by our proper name, "(The University of) Mississippi," something which a handful of Bulldog fans erroneously believed was both scathing and clever.

After this past Saturday, it is clearer to me than ever just why that is.

"Because I drove from Starkville to Oxford and, y'all, Dan's right; Ole Miss is north of Mississippi State."

I am from North Alabama, so TSUN was never one of my choices for college.

Complete non sequitur. Being a Latin phrase, I'm almost certain that you don't know what that means, Joey, so I'll keep it simple: being from Alabama doesn't preclude anyone from having an interest in Ole Miss. Your statement is literally illogical.

I didn't visit the campus or even apply. I am glad I never did this.

Typically when someone says they're "glad [they] never did [something]" it's typically because that something implies some sort of harm or loss, as in "I'm really glad I didn't get my hand caught in a meatgrinder that one time" or "I'm really glad I decided against betting on the Bulldogs winning the Egg Bowl." I guess the time and money spent visiting and applying was saved by your refusal to visit or apply to Ole Miss, but I'm still not sure that you're using this funny little English phrase all that well.

Before the game, there was a lot of smack talk.

There certainly was.

There's nothing wrong with that, especially in an intense rivalry like this one.

Agreed.

However, during and after the game, TSUN fans took it way too far.

Oh, so there is something wrong with it when it hurts your feelings? I see, Joey. This seems like you're going to take a fair and even-handed approach to the rest of this column! I just know it!

The students and fans are not the only guilty ones.

Guilty of what? Smack talk? Taking it too far? Drinking whiskey out of a jar?

I feel like the absolute lack of class extended all the way up to the administration.

There it is! The "class" card! I know a lot of Ole Miss fans do it, because all football fans seem to do it to an extent, but this whole notion of one fan base being classy in a way that another isn't is, well, much ado about nothing. It's feigned moral outrage and a rather blatant attempt at marginalization, you no-class havin' Bullfraud(!!1).

Throughout the game there were many examples of this utter lack of decency. When the Famous Maroon Band took the field for halftime, the whole stadium erupted in boos.

People booed your band, and you consider that indecent? I bet you get your feelings hurt when Simon Cowell would make fun of people on American Idol too.

This by itself can be seen as not a huge deal,

Because it's not.

but factoring in the rest of the atmosphere, it can be seen as tacky.

Oh, so booing a band is okay, but since it was your band being booed in our stadium, it's "tacky"?

After halftime, while exiting the field through one of the tunnels, TSUN fans spit on members of the FMB.

And that's shameful. I've never hurled a loogie or even a rather innocuous drop of spittle towards opposing fans, bands, players, etc. So I'm not here to defend that behavior. Rather, I'd like you to ask any member of the Pride of the South if they've ever received similar treatment in Davis Wade Stadium or, really, anywhere they've travelled to.

You know what they say about glass houses, Joey.

Later, the seniors of the Ole Miss band were recognized, as the game was their senior day. During a timeout, the seniors were escorted into the endzone directly in front of the student section.

While the seniors were being recognized, a drink was thrown at them from the student section.

Again, shameful. And while one can reasonably conclude that some dumb asshole was the one flinging the drink, you can't prove it wasn't some super secret Bulldog in disguise! (Okay, but for real, it was a dumb thing that some dumb and potentially drunk person did. It's inexcusable as you describe it, and it's also not something for which to implicate an entire fan base.)

I realize drink throwing is for some reason a part of college football (our student section remains certainly guilty of it, as well),

So you do get the whole "glass houses" thing after all.

throwing one at students of your own school is downright trashy.

Trashy is the opposite of classy. I see what you did there, Joey! You worked that back in to the column! Very well done you sly (Bull)dog!

As I said earlier, a certain amount of trash talk is healthy. However, common sense should be used.

And what exactly would that "common sense" be? How should it be applied here? "I'm mad about something and somebody should do something about it!" That's what you sound like.

There was a video spot run on the videoboard that was similar to our Video Vault. The difference between the two was TSUN's video touted them injuring a Mississippi State player.

Okay I call bullshit. I wasn't there (again, this hurts me a lot), but I highly doubt that they showed a play in which a player was injured for the sake of showing an injured player on the Powetron.

You can choose to show as many touchdowns or interceptions against MSU as you like, but showing a play that resulted in an injury is unacceptable.

What if there was a touchdown or an interception during which a player happened to get injured? And did anybody actually see what Joey here is talking about? Can someone back him up on this?

I will give it to them, TSUN definitely seemed to want to win the game more.

You're right. To show everyone how much we wanted to win the Battle of the Golden Egg, we wore gold numbers on our jerseys, had our logos outlined in gold trim on our helmets ,and had gold-colored shoes to complete the ensemble.

As much as it pains me to say this, TSUN deserved to win that game.

The truth shouldn't hurt, Joey.

I would not have nearly as hard of a time accepting this if the fans acted with civility.

Civility? What, in your eyes, is civility, Joey, and why oh why do you think it has much of a place at an SEC football game? I'm not a proponent of anarchy, and I understand that there are societal norms that everyone should follow, but context is huge in determining what is and isn't civil. Aside from your reports of a few spitting fans and a thrown drink, you've literally described nothing uncivil whatsoever. You've just suggested it with this "ERMAHGERD Ole Miss fans are RUDE" rhetoric.

Before the clock ran out, TSUN fans were jumping onto the field and spilling into the endzone.

HOW UNCIVIL! THOSE BARBARIANS "JUMPED" AND "SPILLED" ONTO A PLAYING SURFACE UPON THE COMPLETION OF A GAME!

(Please read this.)

Being excited about beating your rival is one thing, but beating an unranked team is not usually a reason to rush the field.

Again, read this. We'll celebrate whatever and whenever we damn well please. Don't get your feelings hurt because that celebration was at the expense of your school's football shortcomings.

Emotions were running high, and with TSUN fans (many of whom were sloppily drunk) on the field, the environment was quite dangerous. I saw multiple TSUN fans jeering and taunting Mississippi State players.

I saw video of multiple Bulldogs players actually take a few swipes at fans and players, something which I haven't really mentioned until now. I write this dumb little corner of the internet that receives thousands of visits a day, so if any of that were something I gave a shit about I could have easily shared it.

My point is that I'm better at this than you. My other point is the whole "glass houses" thing I keep reminding you of. You, your school's football team, and that football team's fans aren't victims, Joey.

When the coaches were finally able to get the MSU players into the locker room, they were spit on while entering the tunnel.

I'll ignore the poor structure and choice of words of this sentence, and I'll refrain from repeating myself from earlier.

Until this year, I had not been to Baton Rouge for a football game. I have always heard stories about how terrible it is being a visiting fan.

I can honestly say I was a bit nervous going down there. After going, I will tell you those stories are untrue.

I have only good things to say about them. The LSU fans were "spirited," but no more so than happens in The Junction. I would gladly go back to Baton Rouge.

Those stories you heard were from Ole Miss, Alabama, and Auburn fans. You know, fans of schools which have beaten LSU multiple times since 1999. Of course they were more amicable to the clangalanga coming to Baton Rouge. You weren't going to beat them and they knew it.

I hereby propose Ole Miss be known as the LSU of college football, from here on out.

No, LSU is the LSU of college football. And I'm not sure why you think proposing Ole Miss to be known as "the LSU of college football" to be all that insulting. Yeah, I'd hate to have a gigantic, loud stadium and multiple SEC and BCS championships which have happened in my lifetime. Oh no, the horror.

I will never return to Oxford.

And why would you? We're not the ones getting a Beef O'Brady's, so really I don't see why you'd want to leave Starkville at this point.

Everything I experienced made my disdain for The School Up North greater.

No it didn't. It simply confirmed the disdain you already had. You didn't need a trip to Oxford and Donte Moncrief making Johnthan Banks look like a bad football player to make your mind up about Ole Miss. You fell victim to your own confirmation bias.

Of course, I realize there are fans who conduct themselves like decent human beings.

But you don't care about those fans, because they don't make it easy and convenient for you to swallow the bitter pill of defeat with a "well at least we're not a bunch of TSUN BARES" mindset.

To those who are not like I described, I am sorry.

We know you are, Joey.

But in my mind, the miscreants have ruined your reputation for me.

No they haven't. Do I have to explain this again?

In my heart, there is no question Mississippi State University is far superior to TSUN in every way.

Well I hope that's also not in your brain, because if such is then you're in need of clinical help.

I will forever be Maroon and White. Hail State.

You forgot "/clangalangalangalanga."

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