For yet another offseason, it is summertime. Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time. We're having fun, and we would like you to as well. While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied. As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff. This weekend's theme song? "All of the Lights" by Kanye West. Deal with it.
Mexter DcCluster - Covering Germantown High's first game against Yazoo County (team that played first Miss. HS game ever). Thinking about his last Saturday(s) of normalcy before Football season.
The Ole Miss Quarterbacks - Either all being equally bad at their position or all equally AWESOME (!!!!11!) at their position. My money's on the former.
Billy Brewer - Golf clap for Nevin Shapiro because ... just wow. Gotta respect the commitment to excellence.
Sleazey Kyle Veazey - Gonna tell us how great Orange Mound is next, I guess.
The Tulsa Tumbleweeds, Or Whatever - Relishing their professional association with Drew Pomeranz; likely to be the shortest athletic stint in a town since Gary Gladiator signed up to fight 14 lions.
Tyrone Nix - Reading up on the Book of Mormon to figure out which spread-option plays violate BYU's honor code.
Jordan Jefferson - Sending LSU's hopes crashing down (Here's the link, you Schadenfreude-havin bastards.) Or skyrocketing up, depending on the LSU fan you're talking to.
Zach Mettenberger - "Hey, Jordan, I think that dude over at the end of the bar called you a queer."
Bronco Mendenhall - Letting his wife fill out his coach's poll ballot . . . on golden tablets.*
Juco All-American - Jammin' out with his salmon out (no seriously he's making salmon and is all proud of himself about it).
John Calipari - NO ONE GIVES A SHIT WHAT JOHN CALIPARI IS DOING IT'S ALMOST FOOTBALL SEASON.
Eli Manning - Confusing Tom Brady with Drew Bledsoe, again.
Chuck Rounsaville - Finding our jokes about Eli Manning's NFL abilities not at all amusing in the slightest. Being the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.
*Only part of this is a joke.