Glorious Commissar Mullen [HT: DYMongoose for the Photoshoppin'.]
(Editor Notation - For pride-filling of People's University Supportists in face of Greatest Battle, pleasure-make from this in advance disbursement of Glorious Commissar Mullen's Pre-Contest Speech to People's University Football Squadron. Accost jump with your mice! #Givehailstostatefromwhichthismissivewasproductionedandspreadwordofsuchonsocialmedia)Greetings Comrades.
Long has season been. In sixty minutes of football time, season 2011 will have ended. Much accomplishment has been made. From defeat of Lesser Bulldogs of Louisiana Technical Institution to hearty overthrow of Martin Tennessee University football regime, much pride should be held by this, Our Team.
But rest not on leaves of small Greek plant. For one contest remains. And Greatest Contest of All, it must be labeled as. I speak, natural-like, of the Clash for Dominant Possession of Egg Trophy!
Three brief years in past, School of North Football Squadron destruction-made of Our noble People. From burned ashes of 45-0 defeat rose powerful new Squadron. Engage with me in brief review of such time as that.
Upon installation of new regime and ouster of failed (though respected for character-building and right of way doing) Comrade Croom and fellow coach regime, first business order was to make focus on year following's Engagement over Egg Trophy. For whole year, I refusalled to utter name of School of North. In such slim esteem were they possessed, that frequently were they scoffed toward by both personages of myself, Minister Stricklin, and other People's University servants.
Culmination of such glowering and dismissal was, in true People's University way, defeat of School of North during following November Month. Much pride! Though no afterward-season game emerged from such victory, all People hailed University and Football Squadron as conquering heroes! Valuable lesson was learned!
During following year, much success was gained by Football Squadron! Defeat of Cats from Wild Kentucky! Defeat of Alligators of Florida! Much enjoyment was had! Seven wins failed at satiation of People's fervor. Final wins of season 2010, against over matched School of North and School of Very North Squadrons in Bowl of Egg and Bowl of Alligator, respectfully, filled People with knowledge that possession of State such as this one firmly rested in hands of Us!
In speech very in like to such as this You are engaged in act of listening to, I proclaimed Our continuation in victory over School of North. In perpetualness will We defeat School of North! Never again will We lose!
I appearance before You, Football Squadron, to engage in moment of rally-making. Promise of season a year ago in past must be renewed at this moment. Our calls for play are set. Read Option will rule the day, besting Capitalist Nix and his players as in past. We will not fail. Our hearts become pure from glory of serving People, while hearts of Our enemies have been taint-made by rule-breaking procurement of Z71's and Range Rovers.
At end of day, I full-like expectation this glorious Egg-formed Trophy to reside once again in specially designed People's University Trophy Encasement. Across all of State, billboard-makers await command from Minister Stricklin. At close of 60 minute period, new, more glorious signage will appearance across highways of State, proclaiming success of this Squadron.
Before closing, allowance me to impart brief anecdotal story. In Mississippi city of Meridian, small male, age of seven years, is dubbed Mark. Mark is a People. Mark cheer-makes for you each Saturday day. Mark's cattle implement rattles as loudishly as any other. Mark made correspondence with Me just a week in past. In rear of Mark's step-father's trailer-house, youngly Mark dug hole and placed schoolbook on "History." It becomes watered daily, and soon, Mark is assuranced, it will grow to strong and tall book-tree!
Today, as You approach scrimmage line to face Capitalist enemies from North, remember youngly Mark. He, like all of Us, is a struggling Book-Farmer. Perhaps he never will affordance Sperry-shoes or shirts of collar. Perhaps he never will have money enough to hang chandelier from tent or drink alcohol beverages with mint in silvered goblets. Mark is simple boy.
Mark is Us.
Fight for Mark!
Fight for boy who knows value of putting books in dirt!
Bring Mark victory and victory will commence to Us all!
Glory to Our State!
(photo courtesy of tGoJC)