BREAKING NEWS: You Must Now Provide Your Own Electricity in the Grove

Yes, at Ole Miss, tailgating news is certainly considered "BREAKING" worthy, and this one's a doozy for those of y'all who love setting up the DirecTV dish aside your tent every fall Saturday.

In an email sent this afternoon by the Ole Miss Alumni Association, an organization which has gained some notoriety as of late by distributing generally disapproving emails, new rules were laid out for the use of electrical devices in and around the Grove during Ole Miss Rebel gamedays. Those rules are as follows:

  • PORTABLE GENERATORS WITH A DECIBEL RATING OF 60 dBA OR LESS ARE NOW PERMITTED FOR TAILGATING USE. [ED: This one's obviously important because it's in all caps.]
  • Power to all electrical outlets in the Grove will be turned off on game days. Extension cords may not be run across streets or sidewalks.
  • Extension cords may not be run through open windows or doors of campus buildings. Unauthorized entry into any building to plug in extension cords will not be tolerated.
  • Only electrical outlets on the exterior of buildings may be used by tailgaters.
  • Electrical circuits must not be overloaded by plugging in multiple extension cords, splitters or power strips.
  • Unauthorized tampering with the university's electrical distribution equipment, including circuit breaker panels, junction boxes or disconnects, will not be tolerated.

"But where am I gonna watch other football games which are far more important and nationally significant than ours? They expect me to use one of them little-bitty Honda things that eat up all the gasoline? WHY CAIN'T WE RUN EXTENSION CORDS OUT OF VENTRESS HALL NO MORE?!"

My thoughts exactly. I'm steamed, you guys. Dan Jones has poo-pooed all over another fine Ole Miss tradition: the unwarranted use of the campuses electricity in a dangerous, carefree fashion.

Does this mad man have any boundaries?

Oh, and of course he does this all from his ivory tower and tells us it's for our own good, citing something about "fire hazards" and "damage to electrical systems" like the despotic leader of the hegemonic nanny state he so desperately wishes to become. Don't try to fool us, Dr. Dan, we see through your ruse.

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