AUBURN HATE WEEK

but that’s about it.

their obsession with the ’Bammers.

Other than that, I think they’re swell!*

(* – Source may be biased, not sure)

primarily because I grew up in an Auburn household here in Alabama. My Dad went to Auburn, was there when they hired Shug Jordan. Had a cousin who was All American there.

But, for all its success over the years, Auburn has pretty much been the underdog in the state, living in Alabama’s shadow. But so have most teams in the SEC. (This, I think, helped prepare me to be a good Ole Miss fan.) Over the years I have seen Auburn and its fan base degenerate into absolute silliness on par with some of the bald ass idiocy which emanates from Starkville- sloganeering, corny catch phrases, stupid promos and such. Which pisses me off a bit. At lest Ole Miss has avoided that for the most part.

And even though our team and coaches demonstrated at times last Saturday that they were at least familiar with the game of football, I still can’t muster enough excitement to even get fired up to watch my two favorite teams play, even considering that the Rebels could actually make a game of it against the Plainsmen, which I believe they will.

About all I have to look forward to is enjoying the weekly sarcasm and general smart assedness of this blog, which has become one of my favorite things. As someone recently posted, if we could bottle that and translate into football prowess, we would be awesome.

I hate Auburn

I hate that Ole Miss has sucked since losing 19-14 to them in 1972.

I hate that They bought Tubs.

I hate that we opened SEC play with them for like 10 years.

I hate that Auburn outbid State for Cam Newton and neither State nor AU got the Death penalty ( I do believe the NCAA would have investigated more throughly but I think they see their days lording over College Football may be numbered and don’t want to make waves)

I hate that Auburn has a Country’s BBQ with roasted Corn and Oxford doesn’t.

I hate that we beat Auburn with Eli, Went 7-1 in the SEC and still didn’t win a West title.

I hate that I can’t think of anything else to Hate on Auburn about.

At first, I didn’t hate Auburn so much as Tommy Tuberville. See, Tubs got his degree from Southern Arkansas University, same place my mom did. Not a lot of people can claim to be a “Mulerider,” and apparently some don’t WANT to…like ol’ Tubs. I met him when he did one of his first coach’s shows and I was working with David Kellum at Q93, mentioned the SAU connection and he was a total dick about it. After that, I appreciated him for his coaching skills but that was it. Then all the pinebox crap happened and I hated him AND Auburn.

Then he left…but by then I had an Alabama degree so by virtue of that I hate them now anyway. I know there are posters here who hate Bama with a vengance; I don’t fault you for that. Just know that OMG I hate fucking Barners so damn much.

because they’re Bender on the Breakfast Club. The only reason they’re dicks to others is because when they go home, daddy (Alabama) is putting cigarettes out on their arms.

1. I have gone to hating pretty much everybody in the SEC. By pretty much everybody, I mean everybody.

2. Their home uniforms look really good with that Navy Blue jersey. In my warped mind, Ole Miss should be the only SEC team who looks good with a Navy Blue jersey.

3. My wife was in grad school at Ole Miss with an Auburn grad and that girl was a major bitch.

4. Outside of Patrick Willis we never have linebackers that can run, Auburn always linebackers that can run.

5. Bo Jackson sleeping on the bench.

6. From 1993 to 1998, I witnessed 6 losses in a row to them. In 1999, I had to go to a damn wedding and missed the win.

7. Auburn had a banker than ran their ath dept and they wisely ran him off, we have a banker that runs our ath dept and won’t run him off.

8. They have two vowels on their helmets.

I hate Auburn because Chizik has no teeth.

It sounded like something a four year old would make up as his/her favorite drink, but it was their best player’s second most important not-secret weapon, behind being paid to play.

And like the rest of cam’s cult of personalty, casualties resulted. Cammycam juice destroyed Tracy Wolfson’s honest, wholesome sideline cuteness. WHY!?

I hate you so fucking much, cammycam juice.

Keep that shit out of the Grove.

they have 3 goddamn mascots. Who the hell do they think they are??? PICK ONE YOU DIPSHITS!!!

What the hell. Thanks, coach. Here’s some compliments for you:

Auburn deserved its national championship.

The NCAA did a great job of investigating the spurious allegations surrounding the Auburn program.

Cam Newton played purely for his love of the game. His dad probably taught him that, and his passion was only fostered on the plains.

Columbus, GA is a wonderful place to go for a night out. The foregin paramilitaries trained at Fort Benning add a cultural flair you don’t find in a lot of towns.

Coach, expectations were too high for you at Iowa State. Almost like you were set up. A straw man. It’s completely different at Auburn, what with all the institutional support you have.

Good luck on Saturday. I’m sure Trooper Taylor is hard at work preparing right now.

I hate Auburn because growing up a Clemson fan I was constantly bombarded with “you know Clemson ain’t nothin’ but Auburn with a lake.” No shit.

But I hope we beat the shit out of some tiger-bird tail on Saturday.

because they will be our fifty-leventh SEC loss in row.

You dick. Thanks for ruining the easiest, best thing to make fun of Auburn for. Because of you, people actaully had sympathy for Auburn after they won a NC and after everyone agreed that they paid for said NC. You have face herpes on the internet and you are an idiot.

Also, Pat Dye is wasted right now.