FanPost

Ole Miss Needs a Live Bear

There is division among the ranks of Ole Miss fans. Arguments about Colonel Reb and Pete Boone are tearing this fan base apart. Like in the Watchmen, when (spoiler alert) Ozymandias fabricates an alien menace to draw the people of Earth together and avert war, the Rebels need a common enemy. See also Independence Day.

Dan Mullen obviously sees the benefits of this approach. Operation TSUN has drawn Mississippi State fans together after years of inadvertent fan abuse at the hands of Slyvester Croom.  The team continues to underperform, but Mullen's got them stepping over cow patties to watch their team squeak by LA Tech. But it will take more than an in-state rivalry to solve Ole Miss' problems (mainly because nobody in Oxford cares too much about those toothless freaks in Starkville).

I think a live bear would help us develop the kind of enemy we need. A live bear would draw fire from PETA (and eventually the USDA) Rebel fans need to evolve from an Ole Miss v. NAACP mindset to an Ole Miss v. PETA mindset. No one likes PETA. If this new live bear mascot means Pamela Anderson is going to walk nude around the Grove in protest (see "Go Naked for Fur"), then so be it. We're the Ole Miss Rebels and it's going to take a lot more than a nude Baywatch babe to get us to back down.

This post is a Red Cup Rebellion FanPost. Please don't sue us.

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