There is absolutely nothing which fans the flame of stupid, online e-punditry quite like the lapse between bowl season and signing day. This is especially true in the Southeastern Conference and even moreso in a state such as Mississippi, where two rival schools compete to recruit the same flocks of high school talent. With fan bases as fervent and as stupid as those of Ole Miss and Mississippi State having virtually unlimited access to a bevy of anonymous news sites, blogs (like this one!), and forums via which they can release their poorly spelled frustrations or present their illogical, paranoid conspiracies, a seemingly endless supply of message board idiocy is available for those of us who wish to mock, deride, or enjoy a cheap laugh.
While most of these moron repositories do a fair job of keeping otherwise embarrassing dialogue in check, the Clarion Ledger's online comments sections provide, hands down, the most impossible to follow, unnecessarily vitriolic, childish, and wildly entertaining "discussions" related to Ole Miss sports on the entire internet. It doesn't matter at all what Kyle Veazey or whomever has written or blogged, because a combination of reactionary Rebels and seemingly professional Mississippi State trolls will consume any sort of dialogue that could have been had and allow it to devolve into senseless drivel.
Observe (click to biggify):
Excerpt from an old, irrelevant story which kinda sorta makes Dan Mullen look like a prick.
- A vague, unfunny comment which loosely alludes to Dan Mullen being a prick.
- -A Houston Nutt reference involving homosexuality.
- - -"STATE SUX"
That's a screen cap from a Clarion Ledger blog post regarding Tobias Singleton's commitment to Ole Miss (oh boy, did that ever get the crazies going - more on that), yet everything cannot help but devolve into a "STATE SUX." It happens end on end, multiple times over, and we love it every single time we see it.
Before we dive into the Clarion Ledger's idiots, you'll need a briefing on some of the more active participants in these e-scuffles. There's "JoeyGladstone," an Ole Miss fan who so annoyingly trolls State fans that a few Bulldogs have thought it clever to create the username "JoeyGlads1one" to tarnish his fair reputation. There's "Donna Bragg," an Ole Miss obsessed Mississippi State fan whose name and avatar are both Houston Nutt references and whose schtick is to pretend he's Donna Bragg. He really does this. He also acts like a normal person on occasion which makes him a really fantastic bipolar star of online tomfoolery. There's "Concerned" who is wholly convinced that Ole Miss is a force of pure evil, contrasting sharply against the wholesome good that is Mississippi State - or, in other terms, he's the resident conspiracy theorist. And then there's the star of the show, "jrebs." Jrebs doesn't have much to say, but what he does say he makes sure do so with a frequency and ferocity of a very, very high homeless person.
Check 'em. They're all from my man jrebs:
- Lot of good news coming to the Rebs lately. At Misery U , just plain misery!1 HA HAHHHH HAHHHH
- CONCERN yourself with the dumpy dogs!
- Dumpy dogs of Scrapvilee,MS.
- OLE MISS RULES
- STATE SUX!
- go clean up around your trailer-loser
- S T A T E REALLY S U X
And we will piss all over moo u and kick their worthless a#@@!!
I don't know whether he's 12 or 80-years-old, but I do know that jrebs hates some Mississippi State and loves typing gibberish.
Here's some more gold from the Clarion Ledger's comments, along with our annotations to either hopefully interpret or successfully deride this nonsesne. We did what we could to divide this work evenly between Ole Miss and State idiocy because idiots are fun to mock regardless of stripe and, let's be honeset, both of our fan bases are pretty damned dumb at times, but this is going to come off as heavily mocking of State fans. Recent events have certainly awakened a few sleeping pea-brained giants for MSU, whereas ours are apparently off abusing paint thinner, so forgive us if the material itself had a bit of a bias. We are blatant Ole Miss homers and don't hide it, but stupidity isn't exclusive to any one group of people. Just know that. [Note to commenters: If you say anything like any of these things (aside from the obvious "Ole Miss Rules and MSU sucks lol"), we'll try our best to make sure that your computer contracts a virus when you visit our site.] Alright, here we go.
Congrats Tobias and Welcome to the Ole Miss Family!! Now that you have made the right choice please understand you just became an enemy of the Clarion Ledger..
The very same newspaper which named you the Metro Player of the Year after both your junior and senior years now sees you as an "enemy" because you're attending Ole Miss. It makes perfect sense and, look, the guy who said it uses the word "truth" in his handle so it must be the case. Right? Another point of much dispute amongst message board idiots is whether the Clarion Ledger hates Ole Miss, State, or USM the most. These people believe that, since the things written in the state's newspaper isn't tilted towards any particular school nor is it from the perspective of a fan, it must mean some sort of bias. It can't be that part of journalistic integrity where you're supposed to at least attempt objectivity, can it? No, it must be some sort of grand, newspaper-wide conspiracy. Yeah! That's it! THEY'RE OUT TO GET US AND IT ONLY MAKES SENSE THAT WAY.
Why did he pick umjbb? Doesn't he know that TRUE OLE MISS FANS and ALUM like me will never watch another game due to the bear named rebel! He should have asked about 2011 season ticket sales and alum donations before choosing!
Now sign on a good mascot like Col Reb. Here's to not watching a half full Vaught Hemmingway Stadium next year as they house the bear named rebel as they go 0 - 6 at home and hopefully 0 - 12 altogether. How absurd!!!!!
Singleton you might want to look somewhere else my friend, a school with pride. Not one that bows to the wishes of the Northeast Yankee elite. Remember this commitment does not bind you to umjbb, you can still go somewhere else.
Ugh.... I would suggest this person send their degree back, but it is my understanding of the laws of the universe that no one can return that which they did not originally have.
Not to dig up a tired issue, but we just couldn't help but notice this bogus, false, illogical, paranoid gobbledygook and simply had to share it. This guy literally HOPES that Ole Miss goes WINLESS next year all because he is bitter over a new mascot and has a wild sort of delusion that Ole Miss is some marionette of New Englanders with an agenda.
Seriously, get thee to a freakin' nunnery.
Criminoli said he "got dealt the cards he got dealt"! He still refuses to take the blame for the things he did wrong in Oregon. Everything is someone else's fault with him.
He sounded kind of down that he missed this season at OREGON. I wonder why the reporter didn't ask him when he was returning to Ox-Flatulence to finish his Mr. Ranger training. He is probably glad he is out of there and has no intentions of returning. TSUN was just a means to an end for him.
First of all, Ox-Flatulence? That's a new one. I get it. Oxford. Oxfart. Ox-fart. Ox-Flatulence. Hilarious.
This guy is unreal. He seems to believe that Ole Miss is entirely, 100% evil and has never done or earned anything without some sort of underhanded conniving on behalf of Dickie Scruggs and his mysterious "bag men." He, just about after every comment regarding Ole Miss recruiting, alludes to a mysterious transaction which took place in Madison (Most likely under a bridge, because that's where these types of things take place. I've seen movies and stuff.) and involved either money or shoes or chicken sandwich coupons. Regardless, the guy's an insecure dolt who offers up wild conspiracies backed up without any sort of proof or reason. So, that is to say that this guy is pure internet gold every time he comments.
And, to respond to his final "point," the fact that Jeremiah Masoli used school as a means to play a sport competitively is not unique to him nor is it some sort of nefarious act. I would guess that roughly 70 percent of division one athletes at big sports schools care much more about the sport they are playing than they do their education. That's normal. What, does this guy think Parnell McPhee and Chad Bumphis went to Mississippi State because they just LoOoOoOvEd their professors and educational opportunities?! Get a grip, Concerned.
Great, Ole Miss has a highly touted receiver, shame is No decent quarterback to throw the ball to him.
I can't tell if this is an LSU fan or a State fan but, either way, neither of them really have much to say regarding poor quarterbacking. And for anyone who hasn't been counting, we'll have roughly sixty new options at quarterback next season. Surely one of them will be able to throw.
That right son it does'nt. I stand by this statement. We sign the players that want to be at here for the right reasons. MSU don't lie to players about playing time and position. Mullen honors the players who have signed a scholarship and AVOIDS very carpetbagger QB that needs a new home. That your reputation right. Mullen refuses TO POSTITUTE the program to recruits,trouble makers and transfers then make excuses when everything backfire. FLAGSHIP UNIVERSITY OF THE STATE AND OLE SOUTH...
This raises an important question: does Nutt postitute our program to recruits? This raises another important question: can this man correctly conjugate a verb?
FairviewReb, in response to a Bulldog fan's criticism of Singleton's commitment to Ole Miss:
Based on your negativity, it's obvious you're no Ronald Reagan fan either???
I don't know if this is some sort of thinly veiled attack on liberals or some sort of reference to a Reagan flick which I don't understand, but no Clarion-Ledger thread is complete until a reference to conservative politics is made.
Just please tell me we are no longer recruiting this guy. I hope we cancel his visit. And if Brassell commits to TSUN, I would cancel his visit also and offer those visits to some 2-3 star guys that actually want to be winners.
Yeah! That'll teach 'em! Brassell and Singleton would be soooo pissed.
i just think um is great at brainwashing these guys.
Just think of the ridiculous, short-sighted, homeristic mind one must have if they cannot possibly conceive of their rival school being able to recruit without using illegal or evil tactics. To suggest bribery or misleading recruiting tactics is fine, I guess, but to actually suggest that Ole Miss brainwashes recruits takes a really special type of stupid.
078875 is an interesting character, when and where he decides to appear. The guy is, oddly enough, wildly obsessed with Markeith Summer's flip into the endzone LSU, which resulted in a fourth-quarter pentalty and a scapegoat for some regarding that Rebel loss. He's so wildly in love with Markeith's flip and its convenient indicator, at least as he may see it, of Houston Nutt's coaching inadequacies, that he mentions it out of context in what seems like every other post of his.
Will the Nutts @ TSUN teach him not to flip into the enzone >>>> HOTTY TEDDY,"BLACK" Bears !!!
He also thinks a lot of things are funny which aren't, including putting "black" in quotes (that I don't get) when describing our yet-to-be-seen new mascot, saying "Hotty Teddy" (GET IT! TEDDY?! LIKE A BEAR?!), and Yogi Bear references. Yogi Bear, for the record, has never been funny to anyone. Ever.
I helped him with the ["Hotty Teddy"] yell & will be great in the grove, aka, JELLY STONE PARK !!
mrob71, responding to an Ole Miss fan's (accurate) labelling of Starkville as a "dump"
Those in the recruiting circles think very highly of Steve and as for Starkville, you obviously have not been there in awhile...
Steve Roberson has recently whiffed on roughly every prediction he has made of any import or difficulty. I give Yancy Porter a lot of crap for not writing well, but at least the remedial English student is quite often accurate in his predictions. And I was in Starkville a few months ago, and it's still dumpy. Sure, it's better than say, Hattiesburg or Meridian, but you're a college town in the SEC. Act like one.
Leeinator, in the same thread
Yeah that dump is considerably bigger than Oxford. Wonder what that makes them? Little OxDump?
City worth is measured in size. FACT. That's why Mexico City is so badass and like clean and safe and stuff. Sao Paolo as well. Talk about two cities that are just phenomenal. OH! And Moscow! Can't forget Moscow! And Dheli and Shanghai and...
You get my point. The types of people who cite this argument are the same who say that, since State has more students than Ole Miss (the difference in enrollment between the two schools is something like a few hundred) that State's the "FLAGSHIP!!1" The type of simpleton who would argue such is just so unfathomably stupid that I needn't elaborate further.
We currently have 15 of the top 25 including a number Ole Miss would love to have, not just Brassell, Johnson, and Whitehead. Maiden, Arrington, Morrow, Price, Market are all players Ole Miss offered. I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't flip Morris and get Singleton. After slaughtering Michigan today, I doubt we have any of our commitments flip to Ole Miss. No offense, just what I think.
This guy isn't dumb, but it's quite funny looking back at this post made the day of the Gator Bowl and seeing just how much has changed. All of the first three on the list have decommitted, and it's looking like two will end up at Ole Miss with the other (Johnson) back to State. To very, very briefly recroot-geek out, I would think that, of those remaining committed to MSU, our staff would love to have Maiden and Arrington (if they had room at this point).
But, don't allow us to mislead you. There are sensible, reasoned, honest Clarion Ledger and Sprivals commenters. They're just few and far-between. Allow us to introduce Juan, who, when all is said and done regarding recent Rebel commits (namely, Singleton), drops this truthbomb:
For God's sake this young man is 17 years old!! Who knows why they choose a school, and if they were enticed. The imporatant thing is that he is going to college, and has the opportunity for a great education. As an MSU grad, I would have loved to have him; but Mississippi did what they were supposed to do. His high school has traditionally been a stronghold for Mississippi. This is no surpise. This is no coup. Do any of you know what this young man wants to major in? Do you know him personally? You don't care about him. You just care about your little football programs. Most of you without knowing who he is, would never even let this young men in your house!!! Congratulations, Tobias! make the most your your opportunity.
Screw you, Juan. Don't ruin this for me. Don't you dare do anything to raise the reasoning skills of Clarion Ledger commenters. They make my days brighter.
But Juan makes some excellent points that too many folks miss out on during this exciting, annoying time of year. Neither Ole Miss nor Mississippi State is some inherently evil school hosting some wicked football program. Both are SEC schools situated in the same state who must compete against one another both on and off of the field. Both will do what it takes to win because both, at times, measure success relative to the other. The types of people who fail to see this or draw some sort of personal moral equivalence with the actions of the football programs they root for are both dumb and lacking sufficient self-esteem. In addition, there are, as we here at the Cup see it, three fundamental flaws in reasoning most idiot fans who obsess over recruiting tend to make:
- Recruits only care about football - Recruits primarily care about football, and primarily want to win football games, but recruits also, admittedly to a lesser extent, care about things like school, campus life, potential coaches and teammates' personalities, yadda yadda yadda. Recruits, being humans, also care about their friends, families, and futures. If a guy commits to somewhere that isn't your school - even if your school has better football right now - because his mother thought that school would be better for him, he got along with the coaches better, or he enjoyed the campus and town more, then who in the Hell are you to suggest that his motives were flawed or the result of some sort of underhanded misdeed?
- Recruits are shortsighted and lack long-term memory- Mississippi State went 9-4 (4-4) with a win over Ole Miss in the Egg Bowl and a curb stomping of Rich Rod's Michigan team in the Gator Bowl. Ole Miss went 4-8 (1-7) and lost a slew of terribly embarrassing games. If recruits were pursued in a vacuum and only within the context of one individual year - and if flawed assumption number one were the case - then this would assuredly mean that Mississippi State would out-recruit Ole Miss. But, guess what, Mississippi State had two losing seasons back-to-back before this, whereas Ole Miss had two New Year's Day bowl appearances back-to-back. These recruits were not only watching football during their sophomore and junior seasons, they were also being recruited then! They also, being football players themselves, know that success on the field this season does not magically equate to success on the field next season. Look at Clemson out-recruiting South Carolina, Texas out-recruiting Texas A&M, or Alabama out-recruiting Auburn if you don't think this is fairly common. Great, you won the Egg Bowl twice. That doesn't mean that recruits are going to give as much of a damn about that as you, which is a nice segue in to the final flawed assumption made by most 'crootin geeks:
- Recruits are fans of the schools they commit to- Applying the reasoning that you, as a fan, love the football team you cheer for is dumb. Citing "tradition" and "Egg Bowls" and "Stankville" and "The Grove" and "/rattlerattle" as a reason that a recruit who, very likely, has no real tie to either school also is dumb. Thinking that these high schoolers care about the same stupid crap that you care about is, yes, dumb and a bit arrogant. If winning the Egg Bowl reassures your self-worth and makes you a confident fan of whomever then great, whatever. But you cannot reasonably assume that the same applies to a 17-year-old pseudo-celebrity who, until last year, never even stepped foot on an SEC campus. You just can't.
Now, having said all of that, believe me when I say that we at the Cup cannot wait for signing day's MBI fodder. Hotty Toddy and, please, don't make asses of yourselves out there on the big scary intrawebs.
DISCLAIMER: We don't know these people. They may not be idiots or nincompoops or morons or whatever it is we've called them. But they sure have said some things which we find stupid. We're not attempting to anonymously attack the character or integrity of anyone. We are just trying to bring what we see as a little bit of reason into all of this and get a few cheap laughs out of y'all. We're kinda sorta sorry, I guess, if we hurt your feelings.