Stages of Grief

So, Now What?

Last Friday night, I was giddy with excitement.  We’d gotten the good news about Kentrell Lockett’s heart condition being stabilized, and Masolli had been cleared in what must be the first ever NCAA reversal in our favor, at least in my memory.  Our D-line was rated among the best in the nation, and I had personally witnessed our DB’s and corners doing better in scrimmages than we’d expected.  My husband and I went to the LOU Club meeting and heard Chuck Rounsaville speak of hope and aspiration.  I was so excited, it was like Christmas as a kid;  I couldn’t sleep and at 3am, I was staring at tiny U-tube videos of Dex’s Tennessee touchdown run on my crackberry, anticipating the glorious day to come.   And then it came. 

It started out well enough.  The weather was the best I can remember for an opening weekend; sunny and breezy with a minimum of humidity.  Perfect, in fact.  Hubby’s family and mine had adjoining tents in the Circle, and we had plenty of time to visit before we headed to our loaned box seats in Vaught Hemingway, a treat compliment of friends who couldn’t make the game.   And the first half our team looked pretty darn perfect, too.  I actually thought this might be one of those rare games when I might  be a little bored, or at the very least, I’d  get to evaluate some 3rd or 4th string guys  for the next season.  And then, evidently, our Rebels went in at half-time and took naps on those little mats we had in kindergarten and forgot to wake the hell up.  

I’m not going to rehash the game, that’s what Godfrey does so well.  But we all know the end result.  We lost.  In double overtime.  To a school I swear I had to Google to find out wasn’t in Florida.  But the Rebel fans are in mourning, and how we process this loss may determine our sanity for the rest of the season, so I’m going to offer up some tips on grieving stages from Anger Management Resources…

Shock and Denial- I figure most of us covered that in the walk back to the Grove, and only partially assuaged it in the many cocktails consumed to console us.  (If the season continues in this fashion, it may lead to a whole ‘nother set of steps to work through.)

Pain and Guilt – The pain part is obvious, but I’m not sure that I feel guilty.  I showed up, cheered loud, and even bought a white shirt that is not the least bit flattering on me.  I’m putting all the guilt squarely on the folks on the sidelines, because I did my part.  Perhaps I was guilty of slightly elevated expectations, but no way do we lose to an FCS team.

Anger and Bargaining- Hell yes, I’m mad.  And so should everyone be, including our team with itself.  The only bargaining I want to do is to negotiate the buy-out of next year’s opener with Boise State.

Depression, Reflection, Loneliness – God, was I depressed.  I couldn’t even read the papers or check websites.  I am a complete sports net addict but this weekend, I couldn’t delete those updates fast enough.  Upon reflection, maybe I shouldn’t spend so much time on those sites?  Whatever, I know I am not alone.

The Upward Turn – I had a perfectly lovely Sunday in Memphis with my in-laws, who were kind enough to not mention the game at all.  Plus, a sales guy at American Eagle gave us a 15% discount just because he felt our pain.  He was a Memphis fan.

Reconstruction and Working Through- That I must leave up to our coaches and players.  They will watch the film, figure out their mistakes, and hopefully, correct them.  I expect them to be much better against Tulane.

Acceptance and Hope- What else can you do?  We lost.  It’s a fact.  All we can do at this point is hope it’s a wake-up call for our team.  An SEC team.  With pre-season All Americans.  And some of the best fans, facilities and tailgating traditions in the country. That got beat by the Alabama equivalent of Delta State.  You got that guys?  I accept that you lost.  I hope it bothers you as much as it does me.  And I believe you can do much better.  Don’t disappoint me.