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Around SBN: The Worst Team Ever Projected?

SEC Power Poll Preseason Ballot

Unless you're brand new around here (and, again, welcome to this corner of these vast Intratubes), you all know that Red Cup Rebellion is a proud contributor to the SEC Power Poll, a 1-12 ranking of the SEC's football teams hosted by SBNation and put together by the web's best SEC-centric blogs. You all also know that we take it serious enough to maintain a reputable set of rankings, but love to mix in the snark when and where applicable. You also know, as last year's season most assuredly and painfully remind you, that preseason rankings are more-or-less bullshit designed only to crush the souls of victory-hungry fans while providing a little conversation fodder.

Thankfully, the folks in charge of the Power Poll know that final point as well as any, and have asked us to keep this preseason poll almost entirely removed from football. And being that this is the SEC offseason, and that we're the fans of a school whose fan base loves to discuss such triviality, we were naturally delighted to hear that this season's preseason poll would be focused on the rankings of the SEC's football uniforms. No, this isn't a joke. You're about to read a 1 to 12 ranking of each SEC uniform. Helmets, logos, color schemes, and all of that other Spirit board fodder is up for consideration and discussion here.

So on with it. I don't know how one assesses the "power" of any given uniform, but I doknow that Ole Miss' uniform is aesthetically well done while State's uniform is teh sux. Our ballot accurately reflects that, while the rest was just sorta filled in by a panel which included most contributing bloggers here (JUCO abstained because he thinks this, like himself, is stupid). For transparency's sake, Ivory Tower does, in fact, possess a mean case of colorblindedness; that likely should have disqualified him from voting but, eh, we didn't want to make him feel like some kinda freak-a-zoid by telling him he couldn't play in our stupid little game.

So jump on it to see where we at Red Cup Rebellion think your favorite SEC team's uniform ranks amongst its in-conference peers.

Star-divide

  1. Ole Miss - Red and blue are nearly universally loved colors, and the Rebel uniforms capture both well, giving each their fair shake on a uniform which, recently, returned to its simplistic roots. The jersey features plain numbers and letters, plain shoulder stripes, and a small script Ole Miss logo on the chest. Whether red or blue - or even white - the Rebel jersey trumps all. The pants are a grayish silver with one red and blue stripe, a rebellious tribute to the confederacy, perhaps? And the helmet is a deep navy - almost black - blue with a simple red stripe and logo. Hell yeah we're homers. Get over it. This is a preseason poll about uniforms, so don't get too wadded up over it.
  2. Georgia- Also beautiful in their simplicity, the UGA uniforms are a nice, vibrant red and don't waste time with frills. The helmet's "G" logo is a classic (but might not be original) and the white facemasks are perfect. All of this praise is, of course, voided when the Classic City Canines decide to get all death metal on us with a black out. Don't do that shit ever again, Georgia.
  3. Auburn - I don't think anyone aside from Auburn has done blue and orange a simultaneous favor. The navy blue and white are featured with orange acting as an accent, the logo is simple and memorable and the uniform doesn't distract you with frivolity. For once, Under Armor didn't screw something up.
  4. LSU - Wearing white at home is a unique tradition and keeps most of us from having to look at damn purple uniforms. So, for that, we thank you, LSU. 
  5. Alabama - I, personally, think Alabama's uniforms are the conference's best. They're simple, proud, iconic, and boast a certain uniqueness with the numbered helmets.
  6. Vanderbilt - I think every conference needs a token black uniform (/that'sracist'd). I like what Vandy does principally because it gives off a bit of a New Orleans Saints vibe, but also because they do black and gold better than Wake Forest, Colorado, or anyone else at this level of play.
  7. Arkansas - If these were the Darren McFadden era Hogs, they'd be ranked a little higher, but the changes made in the past few seasons have detracted a lot from the uniform. the smaller "ARKANSAS" on the chest, the white trim, and the stripe type things on the side really ruined a good uniform. Although the classic hog logo on the helmet makes the Razorback headgear one of the nation's best looking and most iconic.
  8. Tennessee - This is your team's uniform. This is your team's uniform on drugs. Never again, Vols. And this too; we're not too keen on the brightly colored football pants here at the Cup. Orange is a very tough color to pull off, and while the Vols can hold their own, their use of that end of the color wheel is dwarfed by the other UT.
  9. Kentucky - Their blue is a bit too chromatic or "royal" for our tastes, and they're fans of the "everything's the exact same color" style of uniform.
  10. Florida - While we knocked Tennessee a bit for orange and Kentucky for blue, both are fine colors and can work even in conjunction if done right (see: Auburn). Florida is not a good example of that. But what ultimately dooms the Gators is how "busy" their uniform is. There's trim everywhere, everything's outlined, everything has five damn stripes on it. Keep it simple, Gators.
  11. South Carolina - Just as cluttered and frivolous as Florida with a worse color scheme.
  12. Mississippi State - Back in the 1990's and early 2000's, State had a uniform that we Rebels at the time were envious of. But now, your new uniform is a lot like your team, State: it's not nearly as good as you think. Maroon is already a pretty horrid color to begin with, putting your particular Bulldogs at an inherent disadvantage, but what has been done to the uniform lately is pretty awful. The new bulldog logo is dumb, the new Mississippi State type on the chest is dumb, the off-color trim and tusky stripe things on the sides are dumb. Frankly, you should have just stuck with what y'all had under CroomS minus the white helmets.

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Good but...

I gotta say I am a big fan of our white jerseys that we wore back when Tubby was still around. Same as our current whites but with the thin blue trim around the numbers and stripes.

Oh yeah…and LSU should never be applauded for anything on their godawful colors.

by ProphetMB on Aug 31, 2010 2:26 PM EDT reply actions  

Pretty good list

Ole Miss and Georgia belong at 1 and 2 respectively, while Florida, South Carolina and State all belong at the bottom. And as much as I loathe Bama I won’t deny that their uniforms are classic. I would put Tennessee above Arkansas though. And LSU deserves their spot, I suppose, due to their unique attire. While I hate them, their uniforms play homage to the state and are distracting, both of which those coonasses can tout as positives. Nothing compares to our uniforms, though, in my homeristic eyes. Our reds, blues, and whites all look better than any other school.

USA-n-shit/

I play for keeps.

by bowtierebel on Aug 31, 2010 2:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Georgia should be disqualified

Their uniform looks good but how bush league to copy an NFL team’s helmet?

by FireBoone on Aug 31, 2010 2:45 PM EDT reply actions  

Alabama's helmets are hardly unique

They’re just the only team still stuck in the ’60’s. Shit, I would bet 80% or more teams used to wear numbers on the side of their helmets.

by Rebels7 on Aug 31, 2010 2:53 PM EDT reply actions  

A lot of teams did wear numbers on their helmets.

http://www.nationalchamps.net/Helmet_Project/sec.htm

According to this everybody in the SEC wore numbers on their helmets at one time or another except Georgia. And this is just the SEC, I don’t know who else might have done it. I don’t know anyone else who still does it today though.

by Wild Rebel on Aug 31, 2010 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

I may be the only non-Tennessee fan who will admit this.

But I like their uniforms. The regular ones, not the black ones. I gave them a pass for wearing them on Halloween night but it should never be done any other time.

Georgia’s black helmets were hideous and I hope they never make a return appearance. If alternate jerseys bring down a team’s ranking that should be taken into account.

As for Ole Miss, I like the uniforms now the best of any they’ve had, but I can put up with anything as long as those light-blue helmets never make a return. Well, I should say just about anything, Nike hasn’t yet decided to ruin their uniforms the way they have some teams’ uniforms. I’m scared of what they might come up with when Ole Miss’s turn comes around.

by Wild Rebel on Aug 31, 2010 3:03 PM EDT reply actions  

For the love of God, no.

Those things are best left in the past. They should never have been worn in the first place.

by Wild Rebel on Aug 31, 2010 6:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

I'm with Ivory.

An occasional throwback to them would be aight. Interestingly, when the Vaught-era team ordered the first set of helmets they were SUPPOSED to be the navy blue, but the company got it wrong and sent the powder blue. The team went ahead and wore them anyway and it stuck.

To Ghost’s point about the pants, they aren’t silver gray, they’re just matte gray. Yes like confederate army pants omg omg omg omg omg omg!

The “new” unis are classic because (almost) everything about them is identical to the glory years of OM football, just with modern fabrics, etc., obviously. The only stray details are that we now have the brush script “Ole Miss” (I mean what else would we use?) and the facemask is now navy when it, too, used to be matte gray.

We’ve definitely returned to our iconic look. As for that beginning-of-the-millennium Fubu All-Star Bullshit, NEVER. AGAIN.

Catch it in ur mouth like ur last name Moss...

by Rh0d3$t@r on Sep 1, 2010 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions  

Not a UT Fan

Like their uniforms. Their white jerseys are good looking. Of course, not the black ones.

/racist’d

I play for keeps.

by bowtierebel on Aug 31, 2010 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions  

Blasphemy, apparently

but I’ve never been a big fan of the “Ole Miss” script, especially as the centerpiece of our helmets. I’d still put us 3rd, behind Georgia and Auburn.

by duker on Aug 31, 2010 3:17 PM EDT reply actions  

that's because you're root for auburn...

Who does that?

Yes it’s blasphemy…THe script Ole Missi just punctuates the point the we’re better than everyone else;

by EtOHReb on Aug 31, 2010 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions  

Because we can write in half-cursive?

and yeah, I like Auburn unless they’re playing Ole Miss or an AU loss would benefit OM. No harm there.

by duker on Aug 31, 2010 11:13 PM EDT up reply actions  

I would put us at the top...

and everyone but Alabama, State and Arkansas in the middle somewhere.

Those three, in that order 10-12, are all hideous. Something about Crimson/Maroon looks awful.

by Hunter C. on Aug 31, 2010 3:48 PM EDT reply actions  

Call me a little new school...

but I love the black UGA jerseys. I don’t like them wearing all black from helmets down but just the jerseys with their normal helmets and pants look good. They actually have the only other uniforms I really like in the SEC. I think David Pollack said it best about the Bama/Penn State game the other day… Battle of the boring uniforms.

by p-willie'snewtubes on Aug 31, 2010 5:47 PM EDT reply actions  

LSU's gold helmets (not yellow)...

… look like cheap Christmas tree ornaments. I think those things are whore-endous.

by Nerd the Rebel on Aug 31, 2010 8:40 PM EDT reply actions  

haha...that made me laugh, mostly because it's true;

there’s a reason we say purple shirts, yellow britches….

Speaking of which, I hate those 2 colors with a passion, but that doesn’t mean the uniforms don’t serve the purpose of giving them a distinctive, strong look that is effective for the school; in other words, I think they should move up above Auburn(who I personally think has a dull and unimpressive uniform);

by EtOHReb on Sep 1, 2010 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

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