Once again, it's summertime. Fireworks, cold beer, smoky barbecue, and bikinis define the time. We're having fun, and we would like you to as well. While our Autumn weekends will be engulfed in the conflagration of college football fandom, those of our Summer will be fun and varied. As such, we Cuppers would like to share with you our Summer weekend plans, along with the weekend plans of a few others of note, in order to hopefully give you ideas as to enjoyably bide your time until kickoff.
Your song of the weekend...
Crazy by Gnarls Barkley
Ivory Tower - Getting ready for the Bar. No, not the cool one.
The In-state Recruiting Battle - lulz
Shay Hodge - Chasing his fast-ass baby around.
Ghost of Jay Cutler - sucking.... hard.
One Man To Beat - celebrating the end of SEC Media Days by finally getting to go out to eat at the Hoover Outback Steakhouse. Go back to your cubicles you ink-stained wretches!!!!
Kentrell Lockett - receiving a job offer from Twitter to be the humor czar. The responsibilities will include chastising tweeters who are not funny and using the nickname "Baby Huey" as often as possible. Also, make fun of Michael Irvin again.
Bradley Sowell - enjoying lowered expectations. Whew, now that the pressure is off, he's really gonna get up in that grill. Thanks BS.
Jarvis Varnado - not making the Miami Heat's roster despite salary issues and that fact that he would cost them next to nothing.
Robbie Caldwell - tellings folksy ass stories down at a local nursing home. Gosh, he's lovable and hilarious. Like a modern day Jerry Clower/coach/grandpaw.
Mascot Proponents - Abandoning all present options. New idea: the Ole Miss Robbie Caldwells.
George Lucas - looking at the merchandise revenue numbers for the average SEC team and thinking, "holy crap, I could license Admiral Ackbar as a mascot and make more money than the movie 'Gigli' in one day."
Everyone in the SEC West - Getting their hopes up for next season.
Alabama - The same, but somehow realistically so.
Mrs. One Man To Beat - OMG GOIN' TO THE SUMMIT Y'ALL!!! TIME TO SPEND THAT MONEY!!! SAKS FIFTH HERE I COME!!!!1111 [Editor's note: Mrs. One Man To Beat isn't a thirteen year old girl. We promise.]
Ryan Mallett - Drugs... just kidding. It would be funny though, wouldn't it?