if the University let fans
interview grill our baseball coach.....
Moderator: We’re going to open the floor for questions now….
Crowd: (hands raise and a frenzy of commotion erupts)
Moderator: Yes sir?! No, not you—the guy foaming at the mouth next to you. Yes, you! What’s your question?
Fan: Coach….how’s it feel to know that 5 SEC teams made a super-regional this season and you’re not one of them?
Coach: My hat goes off to those teams and….
Fan: And how’s it feel to see that programs like UCLA, Virginia, TCU, Connecticut, Louisville, Coastal Carolina, Auburn and Oklahoma have made great strides in their program over the past 5 years, while we have puttered in neutral…..
Coach: They’re all good teams and…..
Fan: Coach, how’s it feel to be from a premier program in the South and not have been to Omaha? I’d ask around but Clemson, GaTech, Rice, Texas, LSU, Missouri St., Miami, SOUTH CAROLINA, ARKANSAS, GEORGIA, Tulane, TENNESSEE, Baylor, FLORIDA, North Carolina, MISSISSIPPI STATE, Louisville, FSU, Southern Miss and Virginia have all made it during you’re time here, and it’s very possible that ALABAMA, VANDERBILT and Coastal Carolina could make it this year…..
Coach: Well our program has come a long way….
Fan: Yeah, we’re top 5 in attendance, top 5 in facilities, top 5 in student section sponsorships (#1 baby!), top 5 in revenue, BUT WE CAN’T CRACK THE G.D. TOP 8 ON THE FIELD?!?!?!?!?. Just once, by accident alone, we should have advanced to the CWS. I know we’ve had injuries (Bittle, Morgan, Snyder) recently, and had some hellacious draws (Texas in ’05, @ Miami/Missouri in ’08), but getting punked out by a team from NEW FREAKIN YORK! is not a tough draw. We officially regressed to where the program was in 2002. We’ve peaked twice—once in 05 and then in 09, but I don’t have the patience to wait for 2013 to have another “close call”. Go out and get some serious assistants. Take the schools in major conferences with top 10 batting averages, top 10 fielding percentages and top 10 ERAs and just offer their assistants more money to come here. Overhaul your staff and shake things up, because I’m tired of battling for 9th!!!!!!
Coach: A lot of our coaches are family men who are good character guys that we’re building a foundation around….
Fan: YOUR FOUNDATION JUST CRACKED AND SLID INTO THE CUMBERLAND RIVER!!! TIME TO REBUILD FAST AND FURIOUS…..
Coach: Walks out, head in hands, sniffling.
Crowd: (Applause as lights fade to black)
….so how’s everyone else’s day going?