RCR SEC Coaching "Jerk" Power Rankings

It's back and better than ever. Now I've gone all wacky and tossed together a (poorly coded) table to give the RCR SEC Coaching Asshole Power Rankings a more, let's say powerful feel. The changes in ranking reflect both recent events in the world of coaching assholery and the sentiments felt and left by the various SEC football fans who commented on the inaugural poll.

Please, be a bunch of dolls and do the same for this poll. I sort of envision this thing evolving quite organically during this offseason and I fancy y'alls opinions as being the driving force behind that.

New rankings and commentary are, as you would expect, after the jump.

RANK

ASSHOLE

DELTA

1

Urb_medium 

Urban Meyer - Florida

Still number one, and this will be a tough one to unseed. Unless someone else cockteases the rest of the college football universe into thinking they're retiring only to pull a "haha fuk u i is j/k" a few days later, Urb will be here for a while.

-

2

Petrino_medium 

Bobby Petrino - Arkansas

Legendary asshole Bobby Petrino has actually been particularly quiet as of late. His stock could start slipping soon if he doesn't hurry up and pull off some major asshole moves.

-

3

Nick_medium 

Nick Saban - Alabama

Moved up simply because everybody really seems to think Nicky is an asshole (and, c'mon, I moved him up four spots, don't say I didn't do enough). And, yeah, he is, but the question still remains as to what exactly Nick Saban has done, especially as of late, that could count as asshole-ish behavior or even a general dick move? Nothing. The answer is simply nothing. For a guy that everybody seems to think is a monster, he's been pretty well behaved.

+4

4

Steve_medium

Steve Spurrier - South Carolina

Also moved up due to consensus as opposed to recent behavior. Will likely not slip much lower, either, due to being the granddaddy of SEC asshole-dom.

+1

5

Ddandamanmullethead_medium 

Dan Mullen - Mississippi State

Mullen is slipping due to the slowing of TSUN, anti-Old Piss rhetoric over the past couple of weeks.

-2

6

Leslie_medium 

Les Miles - LSU

Les gets a big jump and for good reason, especially from an Ole Miss perspective. Recently, when asked about the status of Mississippi State's proudest tradition--a piece of antiquated farm equipment welded to a tricycle handle--as an artificial noisemaker, Miles replied

I think in a pasture, it’s not artificial at all

Ooooh hate hate hate!

+2

 

7

Hootiepatootie_medium 

Houston Nutt - Ole Miss

Nutt's been pretty quiet for most of the offseason, the subtle jab at State mentioned in the last rankings aside. His stock tumbles with the rise of Miles and Saban.

-3

8

Chizwiththagrimmace_medium

Gene Chizik - Auburn

Get in more buttholes, Chiz.

-2

9

Dooley_medium 

Derek Dooley - Tennessee

Clean, polished, well groomed Derek Dooley actually said "bullshit" at a recent press conference. Not an asshole move in and of itself, but definitely hinting at some fantastic potential.

+1

10

Richt_medium 

Mark Richt - Georgia

Boring.

-1

11

Joker_medium 

Joker Phillips - Kentucky

Double boring.

-

12

Bobbyjohnson_medium 

Bobby Johnson - Vanderbilt

Loser.

-

 
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