Home and Homes We'd Like To See

In 2010, the Ole Miss Rebels travel to the Big Easy to take on the Green Wave of Tulane. In 2012, the Rebs will make their way to the Valley to play Fresno State. Tentatively, games are scheduled at Clemson, Texas, and Georgia Tech. Our future out of conference trips are, needless to say, potentially far greater under Nutt than they've been in decades. This doesn't mean we're entirely satisfied with this though. Oh sure, we're thrilled for an opportunity to travel to Austin or California for some ball, but where would your faithful correspondents at RCR really like to see the Rebels play? In the earliest installment of "oh wow we really miss football" coverage, we bring to you future home-and-home dates we would love to see. First up, Ghost.

For starters, I really would love for us to schedule a series against Wisconsin. I don't know why, but I really like the Badgers. I like their use of the color red. I like their "fat black halfback" tradition. I like the loud crudeness of their student section--arguably the nation's rowdiest. And I like the culture of their football. I also really dig the idea of Wisconsin.

Wisconsin is, when weighed against it's neighbors, a pretty odd bird. The American Midwest is renowned for it's (now dead) industrial prowess, (now dead) sense of dedication and pragmatism, and (now dead) hallmark of blue-collar Americana. This is not the case for Wisconsin. "Fuck steel and engines and sensible populism; we're going to brew swill beer and stuff pigfat into casings. Oh, and cheese. And the Packers. And we hate you. Boom, Wisconsin'd."

This type of "Lassen die gute Zeiten drehen" (See what I did there? Because they're socially relaxed, party crazy descendants of German immigrants up there, you know, kinda like with Louisiana but with.. what? You don't get it. Nevermind.) attitude is up this particular bloggeur'salley. I could be entirely wrong here, but I imagine a visiting experience at Wisconsin to be akin to that of LSU, minus having peepee thrown on you (right, Poseur?). You'll get cussed at and ridiculed, only to have a cheese-drenched bratwurst thrust into your left hand and an ice-cold cup of lager into your right; a pat on the back and an "you know what, you're an alright sport" later, and you feel truly welcomed. In the Big 10, Wisconsin is where the riot-free party is at, and I want to be a part of that.

Next: UCLA. I pride myself on my travels. For a young man in his mid-20's, I've been lots of places, met lots of people, and seen lots of stuff. Despite this, I have somehow never somehow been to California. And, while our Rebels do have a future away contest against the Bulldogs of Fresno State, I imagine my potential Californication to take place in SoCal--not the Valley, nor NorCal. This is not in any way an effort to denigrate said places, as I think San Francisco would be a pretty fantastic trip (and therefore couple nicely with a visit to Stanford or Berkley), but if I am going to make it to the Golden State just once, I think I'm going to go more for Entourage and less for Full House. Is Southern California a conceited, stuck up, insular world of arrogant and insensitive people who are both incredibly beautiful and powerful while inexplicably undeservedly so? Um, well, if TMZ and The Hills are anything to be believed, then yes. But that won't phase me too much because, guess what, I live in DC which, along with New York, LA, and San Francisco, serves as one of America's "four pillars of arrogant asshole-dom."

So, if I were to have it my way, we'd play either USC or UCLA. Both programs are coached by an irreputable shadester (the former being coached more specifically by an immature, irreputable assface and his cro-magnan sidekick), play in antiquated bowls of concrete, and get more media share than they deserve--or not, depending on whether or not demography is your thing. But, USC is the better program right now so, were such a choice to happen tomorrow I'd naturally choose UCLA. And, albeit say I with limited knowledge, USC is full of pricks.

I know that coming from an Ole Miss fan--a person who, per the stereotype, is a prick--that seems a bit odd but my encounters with true USC graduates and fans have rarely, if ever, been pleasant. Even in DC they're able to pull off their very own brand of Southern California "oh look George Lucas and I are alumni of the same school" type of smug. It's impressive and enraging and all the reason that I'd rather avoid 'em.

"But Ghost... Chicks, man." Um, UCLA is doing alright in that department, amigo. Any Southern California school, in fact, will do fine in that area. So, if that's the criteria, why not pick the one that would seemingly be a closer matchup with presumably nicer fans?

Also, the guys are Bruins Nationare partiers. I know this, because I have seen it with my own eyes.

So there, Pete, make it happen. Whiskey Wednesday (he ain't dead, y'all), Brian Walker's Elbow, Juco, and maybe a few other jackasses are bound to chip in their $1/50 as well. As for you? Well, there's a comments thread below and Fanposts to the right. Go for it.