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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

May I modestly propose a certain Brobdingnagian?

Sincere congratulations to the forces of evil, who have conspired within their collective intelligence to raid and destroy all of our precious traditions.  May you suffer the same fate awaiting Dan Marino.  But, I'm prepared to let bygones be bygones.  It's a new day.  And soon there will be a student-led effort to craft a new on-field mascot for the Rebels.  We here at the Cup have a suggestion concerning which student ought to be leading that effort, which we predict might be accepted without objection:

Star-divide

P10103941_medium

That's right - J-Rel.  Shown here getting to know alumni and their children for whom a mascot is, allegedly, very important.

I am actually going to send this letter to the current and forthcoming presidents of the student body, as well as, to Sovent Taylor, who runs the Cardinal Club.  You may send something similar, if you so choose.

To Whom It May Concern:

As a former undergraduate and current law student, I have spent the last seven years enjoying a variety of Rebel athletics.  I am excited that students have taken on the responsibility of crafting a new on-field mascot for the university.  School spirit should be, primarily, student-led, and I look forward to their choice.

While I will not propose any ideas for the mascot, I would like to nominate a person to lead the committee:  Jerrell Powe.  Jerrell is one of the most popular athletes at the university.  He is a native Mississippian.  He, also experienced the most arduous admissions process since James Meredith.  His endurance is a clear representation of his commitment to Ole Miss.

Perhaps no memory from the past two football seasons stands out to me more than when I went to Gainesville and watched the Rebels defeat the eventual national champions, the Florida Gators.  Many moments from that day were sweet.  Not least among them was watching Mr. Powe lead the band in a rousing rendition of "From Dixie with Love."  It was a truly special moment.

As an African-American who grew up in Mississippi, Jerrell has keen insight into the emotions that surround our school's symbolism.  As an athlete who is popular with alumni, his voice and opinion will lend great credibility to the eventual choice.  And as a very large man, he can intimidate all who disagree with him.

Please consider approaching this determined and well-loved Rebel about being a part of your committee.

Warmest regards,

[Ivory]

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I guess it’s finally time for us to get in on some of that hot mascot action.

There's a darkness on the edge of town.

by Evil Betty on Feb 23, 2010 6:59 PM EST reply actions  

Let's just make Gulliver our mascot.

"HOT BOUDIN! COOOOOLD COUS COUS, COME ON TIGAHS, PUSH PUSH PUSH!"

by David. on Feb 23, 2010 7:36 PM EST reply actions  

Jerrell told me he would do it...

so long as no reading or math was involved.

RV's, walk-on fans, and fictitious victories. Bama's in town.

by 18 or under on Feb 23, 2010 9:47 PM EST reply actions  

Hahaha

That’s pretty funny.

Signed,

2006

by Thile on Feb 24, 2010 7:11 AM EST up reply actions  

I literally just today finished Gulliver's Travels.

I had never read it and snagged a copy at a used book sale not too long ago (damn, I sound like a hipster when I say that).

Let me say, Gulliver is a lame-ass and his travels are boring and predictable. Shitty story, Gulliver. And shitty story double-time goes to Swift for writing that shit.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Feb 24, 2010 12:35 AM EST reply actions  

But...

…do you feel better about yourself for being able to tell your children you actually read it? You know? When they complain about having to read it when they get in school.

"Happiness is riches, complaint is poverty, and the worst I ever had was wonderful." Brother Dave Gardner

by tlcreb17 on Feb 24, 2010 1:01 PM EST up reply actions  

I guess.

I mean, it’s 300 pages of “oh European monarchs are just so silly, aren’t they!” It’s not like I disagree, but it’s a very kitschy satire which I am guessing is why it’s so popular with children.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Feb 24, 2010 1:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Once upon a time...

…my partner on the radio and I got a cardboard standy promoting a tv movie of Gulliver featuring Ted Danson. We had NO FRICKIN’ IDEA what to do with it…I mean, they sent a RADIO STATION a VISUAL aid!!!

SO, we put together a play on “Where’s Waldo.” I would go out in the van in the dark of night and stick Ted in plain sight and then we’d offer cash to the person who could find him and bring him back.

Funniest moment for our one-dimensional Danson/Gulliver was when a local guy who is always mugging for t.v. cameras (he is a dancing gorilla; a local wrestling promoter; and a novelty store owner…and by “novelty” I mean everything from fart spray to blow-up-love-dolls!) found him and set him up in the background of a camera shot. HE LOOKED FRICKIN’ REAL! Just a tad out of scale…because you know Danson’s like over 6’ tall…and in the shot he was as tall as everybody in the camera shot.

It was a fun wink at the radio audience because the tv news guy said at the end of the story, “Was that Ted Danson with all those folks? Why didn’t we talk to HIM?!”

Classic.

"Happiness is riches, complaint is poverty, and the worst I ever had was wonderful." Brother Dave Gardner

by tlcreb17 on Feb 25, 2010 11:14 AM EST up reply actions  

I Had to Read that Crap for AP English a Lifetime Ago

I still hate Gulliver, his travels and Swift for bringing either of them to my attention.

by HandsomeSam on Feb 24, 2010 1:09 PM EST up reply actions  

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